Wednesday, June 21, 2000
Wednesday, June 21, 2000 |
| Looking
for the ideal preacher? Here's how you get one... By JUDY KILGORE If you are, or have ever been, a Methodist, you know that summer is fruitbasket-turnover time in the Methodist church, New seminary graduates are assigned their first charge, established ministers are shifted around, student ministers (probably very nervously) approach their first student pastorates, and everybody has covered dish dinners, showers and all sorts of gatherings to make sure all are settled in with a minimum of discomfort and inconvenience. It sometimes is an awkward time...let's be honest here...people and pastors don't always see eye-to-eye and some partings are with a sigh of relief. Others are with great sadness at losing dear friends. I've been reading your bulletins and church newsletters and making notes of new faces and columns which should soon appear on the scene in the Fayette-Coweta area. I was prompted to chuckle when I read the Bethany Bell, the newsletter of Bethany United Methodist Church, and the farewell letter of Rev. Bruce Bunten to his congregation. Bruce is moving from Fayette County to Meriwether County and the Manchester First United Methodist Church. I have particularly enjoyed reading Bethany's news each week. To be published by a small church, their newsletter is very commendable...always newsy and appealing to read. In this last one, Bruce gave a fine introduction to the incoming pastor, Rev. Mark Outlaw, then left his congregation with a smile on their faces. I'd like to share his column with you...and maybe make us all a bit more tolerant of this turbulent time. Bruce says: “I received a newsletter from Manchester First introducing my family to their church body. The pastor included this description of the perfect Methodist minister and I thought you might enjoy it. `He preaches exactly 15 minutes. He condemns sin but never upsets anyone. He works from 8 a.m. to midnight and is also a janitor. He makes $60 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car, and gives $50 a week to the poor. He is 28 years of age, and has been preaching for 30 years. He is wonderfully gentle and handsome. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all his time with the elderly. The perfect United Methodist pastor smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 daily calls on parish families, shut-ins, and hospitalized members; spends all his time evangelizing the unchurched, and is always in his office when needed, If your pastor does not measure up, simply send this letter to six other churches that are tired of their pastor, too. Then bundle up your pastor and send him to the church at the top of the list. In one week, you will receive 1,643 pastors and one of them should be perfect. Have faith in this letter. Do not break the chain! One parish broke the chain and got its old minister back in less than three months!' “ Thanks, Bruce. I'm sure that gave us all a chuckle. We wish you all the best in your new assignment. Until next time...keep the faith!
|
