Wednesday, June 14, 2000
Wednesday, June 14, 2000 |
| Dieting:
Which one is right? By PAT
NEWMAN D-I-E-T. The most foul four letter word in the dictionary. Mention the merits of carbohydrates in mixed company these days and you're almost guaranteed a verbal sparring match on the merits of Dr. Atkins diet, the absurdity of the traditional food pyramid and the fat- fighting power of fat. It's easy to spot Atkins' addicts. There's not a crumb of carbohydrate within 500 yards of their plates. These folks scarf down more eggs in a week than Paul Newman in “Cool Hand Luke.” They eat bacon strips like they were pretzel rods. They'll tell you their bodies are in “ketosis” and burning fat even while they sleep. Several of my male coworkers are on this diet and will defend it to the death, which is the state they will be in if they don't lay off the pork rinds. “But it's all based on scientific fat,” they claim. “Read the book.” Now why would I want to bore myself with 300-plus pages of data which is designed to make you think bread is the food of the devil. I love bread, especially when it's warm, soft and begging for butter. “Eat protein,” I'm told. “Why should I eat fowl injected with growth hormones, risk E-coli by eating fast-food burgers, without the bun, and eschew abundant nutrients found in fruits and vegetables?” I argue. “Because the diet works,” they counter. OK. So they lost a few pounds. Big deal. I can lose weight, too. Right now I'm on the post-Guatemalan trip diet which turbo-charges your digestive system and intestinal tract. Substitute Maalox for milk shakes and Immodium for between meal snacks and you'll be guaranteed to lose weight. It sure beats the Barkoot Karate Diet I tried in my college days. Just eat spinach and eggs for seven days. Yum. Then there was the grapefruit diet. Just eat a half before every meal. Remember those cute little individually wrapped chocolates for curbing the appetite? You could polish off a box of those in a day. And then there was the low carbohydrate diet. I had a little green book about 25 years ago with a carbo- wheel pinned to the front. You could consume something like 30 grams of carbohydrates a day. Eggs contained zero carbs, ditto for bacon. Pork rinds were also allowed in unlimited quantity. Gee, it sounds just like Atkins' diet. Only his book is bigger and costs more. Pass the Wonder Bread.
|
