By BILLY MURPHY
Laugh Lines

So many people keep complaining about how awful Peachtree City is. Have they ever lived in the real world at all? I hear Alabama could use more taxpayers.

For those of us who aren't bent on complaining as often as Yahoo gets hacked, it is nice to arrive home in Peachtree City and realize we are insulated from some of the things that lurk outside. If you choose to overlook this in favor of ranting on sprawl, I hear Alabama could use more taxpayers. Nevertheless, here are some reminders of how it's different out there.

Life in Peachtree City: You wheel your shopping cart to the Kroger checkout stand and talk to the bag boy. Life in the Real World: In a downtown city, you wheel out of the way of a shopping cart pushed by a bag lady talking to herself.

Life in Peachtree City: You recline and watch R-rated movies in your underwear after the kids are in bed. Life in the Real World: Calvin Klein sells clothes by running R-rated ads with kids in their underwear.

Life in Peachtree City: You work every day, pay taxes and would murder for a good buy. Life in the Real World: In pro sports, they work 48 days, have tax shelters and try to buy their way out of murder.

Life in Peachtree City: For fun and relaxation you grab some irons and shoot a few holes on the green. Life in the Real World: For fun and relaxation, inner-city kids grab AK-47s and shoot a few holes through their neighborhood.

Life in Peachtree City: You face a drought and have to wait every other day to water your lawn. Life in the Real World: In New Mexico they have a drought and a brush fire burns down the state.

Life in Peachtree City: You have so much free time on your hands you visit every town meeting to gripe and blubber. Life in the Real World: In the Arctic you preserve a slain caribou on your ice living room floor the whole, dark winter, hoping your lantern doesn't run out of whale blubber.

Life in Peachtree City: You teach your kids to obey the law and they could become president. Life in the Real World: Politicians want to become president so they don't have to obey the law.

Life in Peachtree City: You work hard flying a Delta jet so your wife and kids will live in a nice house. Life in MTV's Real World: None of the kids work but live in an apartment big enough to house a Delta jet.

Life in Peachtree City: You eat McDonald's hamburgers in your golf cart while on the mobile phone. Life in the Real World: On the streets, you eat McDonald's hamburgers out of the trash can while dreaming of living in a mobile home.

If you find yourself even the least bit tempted to complain about the sarcasm in this article, I hear Alabama could use more tax payers.

[Visit Billy Murphy on the Internet at http://billymurphy.net.]

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