By REV. DR. JOHN HATCHER
Religion Columnist

Four kinds of love (mostly): erotic love (Eros), friendship love (Philia), family love (Storge), and God's love (Agape). They are all important. Without Eros, population would dwindle. As much as we say we love our children and we do, most children can thank erotic love for their inception.

Now, there's nothing wrong with Eros. God made it, too. In fact, the Bible's Song of Solomon was Barry White stuff in its day. Eros goes to the depth of our soul.

But what would we do without friendship love. “Philia” gives us some of the finest relationships in life. William Shakespeare counseled us in Hamlet: “Friends thou hast and their friendship tried, grapple them to your soul with whoops of steel.” Most people will have only three to five solid, dependable, unshakeable friends in a lifetime. Hold them dear. The Bible lifts up the friendship of David and Jonathan, the son of King Saul. The old adage is so true, “A real friend is someone who knows everything about you and still is your friend.” I have a handful of such friends and one is past her 70th birthday (I think).

Family love (storge) is shared among all families of the planet, including the animal kingdom. Family love has its quirks, but it's all about being a member of the family. We can't point an accusing finger at certain animal kingdom families and say, “they don't treat one another in caring ways.” Well, there are four indicting fingers pointing back at us humans. Look at the way we shoot one another, abandon one another, and even reject one another.

At its very best, family love says, “You're loved because you are a member of the family.” My mother-in-law taught me a giant lesson once. I had failed at one point and hesitated from telling the family. After telling them all about it and sharing my fears, my mother-in-law said, “John, you're family. Everything is okay.”

But the best and brightest love is “agape” love. The love of God. A couple may have erotic love for one another, but there will come a day when the Eros has got up and gone.

Two friends may have “storge” for one another, but the friendship may be stretched so far that only “agape” love can bridge the gulf between the two.

Family love may be strong, but the families who are able to “pray” in the unconditional love of Jesus Christ have the best chance of surviving. Agape love is unique to God through Jesus Christ. It's only available to us through Jesus Christ. It's an experience love as well as a “solid rock” kind of love. It flourishes particularly in the hard and difficult times. It's the love that keeps on giving.

So, enjoy Valentines Day as much as anyone. Be romantic if that floats your boat. But the very best kind of love is the kind that allows you to look into the eyes of your lover, your friend, or your family member and say, “I mean it and my life will show it.”

The Rev. Dr. John Hatcher is pastor of River's Edge Community Church in Fayetteville.

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