Appalachian modified Scots-Irish!

Hyar weuns air sippin a dope just when the wether air airish outside.
Ah wint tu thu stor yistiday, bote sum stuf and had it ropped up. My laig wuz hurtin so I put my stuf in my poke and bid them jaspers so long.
Afore i got home howsumever, I did stop and bote sum flare fer biscuits. The peckerwood in thu store said did I want hit in a bag ur a poke. Well I wuz tard and I said, thu lord, what air a bag uf flare? He siad he wood git me a poke uf hit, and did.
I knowed everthang wuz all rite over yander nyar the sangin place and the entar bunch went on a sataday. So I githered sum branch letuce un onions and sum grease to hete on hit and went on thar.
I wuz keerful no tu burn myself whil walkin the plumb distance thar. The rode thar was si gogglin, an thu lord, hit were ruff goin.
Youns ort tu go thar youself when ya kin go. It air a place whar thu entar bunch go.
I do nede sum new tars onto my truck thoe and I think the peckerwood at thu sarvid station got sum used uns fer me.
I nevr axed fer much hep in mah lif, but wif my laig hurinn an my tars thin, I did ketch a rid wif Popcorn Smif over thar.
Oncest I ot thar over yander everthang got all rite wif a whif ur too uf that shine in me.
Lif air gud.

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walker3's picture
Submitted by walker3 on Sat, 12/26/2009 - 4:03pm.

Bonkers, what is this supposed to be? Are you making fun of those less fortunate, less educated or are you a racist that has a problem with what, Hillbillies, Southerners, Rednecks, Scots-Irish, Europeans or white people? Check the bloodlines of the folks who have innovated, lead and governed our country. The Scots-Irish are our warrior class to whom we are all indebted. You may not understand them, but you would be in a world of hurt without them. As a proud member of them, I find your mimicry insulting.

Cal, you wouldn’t tolerate some Uncle Tom, Black Face gibberish. Take this piece of insulting, ignorant trash down.


Submitted by Bonkers on Sat, 12/26/2009 - 4:42pm.

No insult intended. I, myself was born and raised in Appalachia where many speak as I wrote.
It is possible however that enough would feel as if they alone were being picked on by the language, such that it could be banned.
"Huckleberry Finn" has in years past, and still in some places, been banned from schools and libraries due to the language of the times in it.
As to racist, I think that applies to a "race" of people, not a location!

walker3's picture
Submitted by walker3 on Sat, 12/26/2009 - 4:59pm.

Scots-Irish is most definitely a race of people blended from two other wholly unique cultures. Forced into servitude by the British and banished to colonize the Ulster Plantation, the Scots-Irish immigrated to the New World to escape bondage and grinding poverty. Many refer to the American Revolution not as a new fight for independence, but rather a continuation of the Scots-Irish/British conflict and therefore a civil war.
Remind me, where is the country of Scots-Irish anyway?
Bonkers, you, Sir, are no Mark Twain and your insulting gibberish could never be mistaken for great American literature. Don't try to go all high-brow now that you have your back side in a crack.
Cal, take down this blog.


Submitted by Bonkers on Sat, 12/26/2009 - 5:24pm.

I have "cracked" a few books!

There are five categories recognized as true races:

Caucasoid
Congoid
Capoid
Mongoloid
Australoid
(one member on here gets a kick out of homo-erectus sapien sapien!) Please don't ban me for that!
Other mixtures are simply mixed races. The Congoid race is the purest race (not mixed as much--in spite of slavery--that exists.) Due to that they are more likely to get certain diseases which they did not inherit genes to prevent.

However religions and such organizations have tried over time immemorial to "assign" any one group or mixture that they didn't like as a "new" race.

Many assume that Hispanic is a race. It is not. It is a group of mixed cultures and races.

My folks came from Europe and the British Empire and as far as I know most of them were Caucasoid, but it would be a miracle if my entire family had NO MIXTURE anywhere!

That is why "race" is not a critical item---even for President.

walker3's picture
Submitted by walker3 on Sat, 12/26/2009 - 5:33pm.

I think I just threw up a little in the back of my mouth with that last line.
So if race is such a non-critical item, even to a President (insert eye roll), then using the N word is no big deal if as you say in your first response, no insult intended. I get it now, it's all about the intent.
It doesn't matter to you at all that I am insulted by your blog, because that wasn't your intent. Slippery slope, indeed.


Submitted by Bonkers on Sat, 12/26/2009 - 8:49pm.

Well you obviously didn't say what you meant to say.

"N" word has nothing to do with a regional dialect!

You should be proud of your heritage, not insulted by it.

walker3's picture
Submitted by walker3 on Sun, 12/27/2009 - 4:59am.

You are saying that I cannot take offense because by your narrow definition, Scots-Irish is not a race. I didn't see African-American in your list either. Neither were the Jews, so anti-Semitism is another thing you must not have a problem with. You and A-Jad must see eye to eye on that whole holocaust thing. By your "logic" a group not qualifying as a race cannot be targeted nor insulted. Especially if there is no intent by the boor making the misstep. You started this line of thinking, not me.
I am not insulted by my heritage, I am insulted by you making fun of other folks and trying to elevate your meanness to what seems to pass in your world as humor or satire.
The N word has everything to do with regional dialect. Folks from around here have used it to describe people all through the late 1800 to early 1900s with no slur nor negative intent. It wasn't until the latter part of the last century that it was viewed as an insult. Many older folks use the word with no malice as they always have. Huck Finn uses it in such a non-insulting context certainly reflecting his local dialect.


Submitted by Bonkers on Sun, 12/27/2009 - 5:38am.

you said enough to describe a thought pattern better than I can!

meanoldconservatives's picture
Submitted by meanoldconservatives on Sat, 12/26/2009 - 4:38pm.

Bonker$ is simply turning his ignorance up a few notches when he does this.

Hopefully, most people are like me on this. His crap is not worth reading when he writes normally. But, trying to decipher what the old fool means when he writes like that would be losing seconds of my life I could never recover. He embarrasses himself way more than anyone he might try to lampoon.


Submitted by Bonkers on Sat, 12/26/2009 - 4:47pm.

I do believe that you out lampoon me by far! Everyone is ignorant according to you.
It would be better if you would describe the subject you mean rather than simply tell someone he is a fool and that you don't want to hear him makes you somewhat privileged.

Submitted by wildcat on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 10:21am.

And remember to be careful of your First Footers. A fair-haired visitor passing through the door after midnight on New Years is bad news (unless his name is Andrew). I wassailed my apple trees last year but I think they are too young to bear fruit. Maybe this spring??

Submitted by Bonkers on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 3:04pm.

Thets jest fine bout them apple trees. They got no feelin cept fer there apples.
Bands of boldly bought broads broached the bedrume and benevolently benefitted! Cats, cartoons, columbines, and clusters covered his fare hare.

Submitted by wildcat on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 5:35pm.

Gee, what can I say? To quote from my favorite carol....in a life of hardship and of earthly toil we have need for anything that frees us. So I bid you pleasure and I bid you cheer from a heathen and a pagan on the side of the rebel Jesus. Merry Christmas!

S. Lindsey's picture
Submitted by S. Lindsey on Sat, 12/26/2009 - 4:20pm.

Octoman strikes again..

"A little matter will move a party

but it must be something great that moves a nation.

~Thomas Paine"


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