Forgiving

Sally Oakes's picture

Peter, God love him, is like the anonymous “Q” of Frequently Asked Questions. He wants to know how to apply Jesus’ teaching in his life, the same as we do. One question he asks is, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” (Mt. 18:21 NRSV)

Jesus responds with the well-known answer: “Not seven times, but, I tell you seventy times seven.” The point, of course, being that forgiveness is to be an on-going dynamic that will maintain health within the Church.

Jesus illustrates with the parable of the king whose servant owed him 10,000 talents. A single talent was about 15 years’ worth of wages. Owing 10,000 talents, then, would have been an impossible amount of debt to just work your way out of.

How the servant could have lost all that money is anyone’s guess. Jesus chooses this exorbitant sum for the shocking effect it would have had on his listeners, but this is what he says the Kingdom of Heaven is compared to. If we take this servant to be an allegory for ourselves, we come to the Kingdom of Heaven with this load of debt that is impossible to work our way out of.

The message is clear and simple: therefore, when God, our king forgives us, he’s forgiven us an impossible debt and we are then to extend the same mercy to others.

But this servant doesn’t do that. He turns and demands payment from a peer, a fellow servant, and has him thrown into jail until he could pay the debt. The king not only gets mad when he hears this, but revokes his mercy on the first servant and throws him into debtor’s prison, this time adding torture to the punishment.

The king had something at stake here. The king’s forgiveness was given out of the power of his authority. For the servant to not extend the same mercy was a bad reflection on the king’s authority. It would have shown the king to be weak, rather than merciful. The servant’s mercilessness is not just a reflection on the servant’s poor character, but it is an affront to the king, the lord of the household.

Jesus says it right out: So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Sometimes Christians don’t like to talk too much about a punishing God. We tend to gloss it over.

However, when we remain in a state of unforgiveness, it’s as if we are denying God’s forgiveness of our own debt. Like the unforgiving servant, we are not a reflection of God’s mercy when we don’t extend it to others. And, yes, we are tortured by it. We get high blood pressure. We cut off relationships. Our relationship with God suffers. It’s not possible to fully live out our own salvation if we’re unable to reflect the face to the one who offered it to us in the first place.

So, what is forgiveness? I’ll begin with what it is not.

Forgiveness is not: (derived, in part from Choosing Forgiveness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss)

• Condoning wrong. Sin must be acknowledged for what it is.

• It is not denial. We can’t go through life acting as if nothing happened or pretending that a dangerous person isn’t dangerous.

• It is not a recipe of words to say.

• It’s not legalistic. Jesus wants us to be able to forgive from our heart, not just out of a sense of duty.

Forgiveness is: (derived, in part, from Rev. Brad Braxton, Day One)

• A truth to be lived.

• A genuine grace that creates new life.

• A discipline that we have to work on.

• Lifelong commitment (70 times seven)

• Forces us to focus on our reactions, not the actions of others. We can’t control others’ actions, but we can control our response to them.

• A gift of liberation to oneself. When we withhold forgiveness, we remain the victim.

Forgiveness is not just an act of obedience for obedience’s sake even though we are commanded to forgive. Above that obligation, however, is a calling. It’s an opportunity to give to God our gratitude and to better reflect his goodness to us.

Sally Oakes is pastor of Bethany United Methodist Church, 607 Rivers Road, Fayetteville, GA 30214. Phone: 770-964-6999 or 770-964-6992, or e-mail bethanymnc@bellsouth.net.

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