By DAVID EPPS
Pastor

In case you missed it, the second Million Youth March took place last week in New York. Fifteen-hundred police officers were on hand to monitor the Million Youth March, although they could have been assigned to other duties. It seems that only 2,000 people were present during the Million Youth March. In 1998, there were 6,000 on hand for the first Million Youth March.

Am I missing something here? How can you have a Million Youth March with only 2,000 or 6,000 people on hand? I mean, don't you need at least a million youth to have a Million Youth March?

Apparently not. After all, during the Million Man March on Washington, D. C. a few years ago, government estimates of the attendance were anywhere from 400,000 to 800,000 in attendance. An impressive number, to be sure, but still 200,000 to 600,000 shy of a million. Yet, the media insists on referring to the event as the Million Man March.

A few years ago, when I was an associate pastor out West, a former pastor of the church I served claimed that, when he was the pastor, attendance at the church would “exceed 5,000 on many occasions.” The former pastor was returning for a special service and I was in charge of the publicity. When I read his press release about the 5,000 who attended the church under his reign, I decided, before I wrote the news release, to go into the sanctuary and count the seats. With the assistance of the youth pastor, I counted every seat in the sanctuary several times.

No matter how many times we counted, we could come up with no more than 984 seats. Even if every seat was filled and a few chairs were brought in, the church would have had to have five services on Sunday, each packed to the walls, to get the 5,000 worshippers. Not very likely.

Smugly, I reported my findings to the rest of the church staff. The longtime members of the staff who had served under this pastor were outraged! Not at him, but at me!

They all insisted that there had been many Sundays when attendance had exceeded 5,000. No amount of argument, persuasion, or logic would move them from their entrenched position. They preferred to believe in the “5,000-member days” that had never existed, save on the pastor's reporting forms.

Myths die hard, especially when people really want to believe the myths. When the desire for myth prevails, the truth is irrelevant and even downright pesky.

Once in awhile, someone will speak with great passion about the U. S. Constitution's principle of “separation of church and state.” It's a myth, of course, and never mentioned in the Constitution.

Then there's the myth about Proctor and Gamble being involved in satanism. The myth even claims that the president of the company allegedly appeared on a national talk show and admitted to the satanic involvement. It never happened.

Remember the myth about Madalyn Murray O'Hair trying to get the FCC to take Christian programming off the air? Again, never happened. Yet, petitions continue to circulate and obtain millions of signatures about events that never occurred.

Well, since accuracy doesn't matter anymore, I've decided to take advantage of the situation. This Sunday, our church will celebrate its anniversary. We began three years ago with 19 people and our high attendance was on Easter of this year with 165 in attendance. Not a bad growth pattern by most standards!

However, I am formally changing the name of the upcoming service. From henceforth, this coming Sunday will not be known as the Third Anniversary Service. From now on, Sept. 12, 1999, will be known in the church archives as “10,000 in Attendance Sunday!”

In a few months, we will look back on this date and say, “Wow, wasn't that `10,000 in Attendance Sunday' really something?” In a couple of years, we will ask people, “Were you there when the church celebrated “10,000 in Attendance Sunday?” With the passing of time, people will remember “10,000 in Attendance Sunday” with fondness and longing.

Perhaps, they will even speak of the great crowds and the excitement generated by all those people. We will write the history of the church, being sure to mention that, by the third year, we were celebrating “10,000 in Attendance Sunday.”

If we say it loud enough and long enough, the story may be picked up by the religious or the secular press. Why, we could become famous throughout the world as the church who, in just three short years, grew from 19 people to a congregation celebrating “10,000 in Attendance Sunday!”

I bet we can pull it off, too, if we just repeat it enough! As least, as long as nobody thinks to count the seats. [Father David Epps is rector at Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church. He may be reached online at CTKCEC@aol.com or at P. O. Box 2192, Peachtree City, GA 30269. Even now, he is planning the “50,000 in Attendance Sunday” for the fourth anniversary of the church.]

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