We have done it again. We have celebrated yet another year together. Tuesday it was 31 years that Daniel and I have been married.

Whew!

Sometimes it feels like only yesterday that I endured one of the worst days of my life. That's right, the day I married was not a good day. It was at least 100 degrees and that might have been in the shade. I had a headache that defies description to this day. I was three months pregnant and had absolutely no assurance that I was doing the right thing.

That was before I said “I do.”

As we drove north and the sun sank in the west it grew cooler. My headache got better. The pregnancy? That stayed with me for another six months. And the idea of commitment that had been absent prior to the vows began to set in.

On that drive northward, I prayed for wisdom and peace and the courage to stand by my commitment to my husband. God hears and answers sincere prayers.

The average person felt we were one of those couples doomed to become a divorce statistic. Everything was stacked against us, they said. We had not known one another long enough. We were starting our life together as three instead of two. They said we wouldn't make it.

The next time you are inclined to listened to what “they” may be saying, remember this column. It's been 31 years and we are still together.

In fact, just like there are times that it seemed like only yesterday when we started our journey together there also are times when it seems like we have been together forever. Some contradiction, huh?

How have we pulled it off? By being willing to take commitment seriously and by the grace of God, and not necessarily in that order. Marriage is not easy. Nothing worthwhile is.

There is no denying that it all began with sex. The physical attraction was the motivating factor and we did not take time to know one another. Once the “I dos” were said we resolved to do just that - get to know one another, that is. We are still working on the project. For the most part it's been fun.

At times it was for the children that I remained committed. Then there were those moments when I just hung in there while I tried to decide who I was. Yes, the search continues well past puberty.

So, even if you don't do it all in the order it probably should be done, marriage can still work.

Would I count my marriage a success? Absolutely. I don't quite know when it happened, but today Daniel is my best friend. We have a history together and we are proud of it. But more than anything we are thankful for it.

On our honeymoon we stopped by a nursing home in North Georgia where Daniel's sister worked. She introduced us as newlyweds to a resident there. The little old lady beckon us close to her and admonished us to never let the sun go down on our wrath. “Don't ever go to sleep angry,” she said.

I cannot begin to tell you how many times over the years I wanted to go back and shake that dear little old lady and make her take back her admonition. Why? Because Daniel took her advice as the gospel which I suppose it was.

Any normal, healthy woman will tell you in a minute however that a good burst of anger cannot and should not be turned off just because the sun is going down. Not hardly. We much prefer to nurture our anger, to let it smolder and become all it should be. Daniel, however, has never allowed me that luxury.

Granted, we have had more than one sleepless night. But we have seldom gone to sleep angry. The only time I have ever been able to hold on to a good spell of anger was if I somehow managed not to let him know how mad I was. Now tell me how much fun that could be.

It's odd though. Today as I write this I cannot recall the last time I was angry with Daniel. It's strange how getting to know someone, understanding them, and being their friend can cast such a different light on everything.

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