From THE FAYETTE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT

Toddlers do not seem to mind wearing diapers. They like being Pamper-ed and Luv-ed. Who wouldn't?

Just as each child learns to walk at different ages and levels of difficulty, a child learns to use the potty at his or her own pace. Toilet training is a process. Training usually takes place between ages 2 and 4. It may take days, weeks or even months before a child is fully out of diapers.

Again, how long training takes and when it occurs varies greatly from child to child. Toilet training a child takes time, understanding and patience. A child must be ready.

Being able to use the toilet is a complex skill. Before being fully trained, children must be aware of the need to go to the bathroom — they must have the ability to sense a full bladder or bowel. A child must be able to resist the urge to go to the bathroom as well as be able to release urine and bowel movements — the muscles used to hold back and release a full bladder and bowel must be fully developed. The child must be able to communicate the need to go to the bathroom. Being able to use and coordinate all of these physical skills is a major step for the child.

Toilet training is also an emotional challenge for the toddler. It is normal for a child to want to be grown up and to want to be the “baby.” Toddlers naturally want to please their parents and to be “in charge,” too. These emotional struggles may affect toilet training. A child may be excited about training one day and uncooperative the next.

Some tips in understanding toilet training basics can make training go more smoothly. It is important to remember that each child is different. Parents should not compare their children to other children. Age at training has nothing to do with intelligence. Toilet training is not related to the age at which a toddler walks, talks or accomplishes other skills.

A parent must be patient during training. Even after training, setbacks are common. Trying to force a child to train may backfire. Stress can slow training for a child. If possible, parents should keep stress low and downplay training efforts during stressful times — during a move, when there is a new baby in the family, etc. A parent should always praise a child for his or her efforts. A parent must be careful never to shame or punish a child for accidents or failures.

Another tip in toilet training would be for the parent to be flexible. It is common for girls to want to use the potty standing up, boys to insist on sitting down, and so on. It is fine for a child to experiment this way during the learning phase. A parent should not worry but instead focus on what the child is doing right.

Never take the training ability of a child personally. A child's success or failure is not a measure of a parent's ability.

Above all else, a parent should remember to relax. Children will train eventually.

Certain steps a parent may follow in teaching a toddler to toilet train are to first look for signs of readiness. A toddler may have the skills and interest to start training if she or he asks to have dirty diapers changed, stays dry for one or two hours at a time, is aware that he or she is passing urine or bowel movements, is able to follow simple instructions, and if the child seems curious about toilet habits.

When a child seems ready, a parent can get training off to a good start by letting the child pick out the potty seat. A parent should read and tell stories about going to the potty (books about toilet training can be found at the local library. Some suggestions are “Once Upon a Potty” by Alona Frankel, “Potty Time” by Betty Reichmeier, “On Your Potty” by Virginia Miller, and “I Have To Go, A Sesame Street Toddler Book” by Anna Ross).

Parents should also show and explain what the potty is for. A child should get comfortable sitting on the potty even if they need to wear their clothes at first. All fears about the potty should be relieved before training is tried. Once training has begun, the parent should suggest frequent trips to the potty. A parent should look for signs that a child needs to go and point this out to the child.

Children trying to toilet train should be dressed in easily removed clothes. Parents should expect accidents and accept them without criticism. Once a child is having regular success on his potty, underwear or training pants should be introduced for the daytime. Underwear and training pants help the child feel grown-up. Cloth underclothes may also feel uncomfortable when wet and this might encourage a child to use the potty.

Parents should teach their children how to ensure good hygiene. A parent should teach children how to wipe appropriately and to always wash their hands after using the potty.

Once daytime training has been mastered, nighttime training can be attempted. A clue to a child's readiness for nighttime training is an occasional dry overnight diaper. Nighttime training sometimes happens at the same time as daytime training. However, many children may take longer. As with daytime training, expect accidents. In fact, it is normal for children to wet the bed until the age of 6.

If any concerns arise during toilet training, parents can consult their health care providers. There are many resource books available for the parent of the toilet training as well. Some suggestions are, “What to Expect the Toddler Years” by Arlene Eisenberg, “Your Growing Child” by Penelope Leach, and “Toilet Training, A Practical Guide to Daytime and Nighttime Training” by Vicki Lansky.

The Fayette County Health Department also has handouts parents can have to learn more about toilet training their children. It is important for parents to understand the issues and challenges involved with toilet training, for parents to be patient and follow the pace of their children and for parents to remember to always use praise to encourage a child rather than shame and criticism.

For information phone the Health Department at 770-461-1178, ext. 416.

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