Gregory K. Moffatt, Ph.D.---February 1999

Last year I wrote a column from the perspective of a child to her father. If a child could write a letter to her mother, it might sound something like this:

Dear Mommy:

I decided to write to you because you always seem so busy and tired. I thought that maybe you would be able to read this when I'm sleeping.

I'm glad you are home with me. I like it that you wave to me on the bus in the morning and meet me at the bus stop in the afternoon. Lots of kids miss that. I especially like it when you pick me up at school. I'm so proud of you that I want people to see that you are my mom.

Sometimes I know that I do things that make you mad, but I forget the rules you teach me. I hope that someday I'm good enough to make you proud of me. You tell me that you love me no matter what, but I feel like you will not like me if I'm bad. You probably need to remind me of the rules once in a while so I don't forget.

Isn't it fun when we aren't really doing anything in particular, but we are just at home together. You have so much to do, but I like it when we sit and read together, take a walk, or ride our bikes. I like to watch you getting ready for the day. I can't wait until I can wear make-up, high heals, and pretty dresses like you. You are the most beautiful woman I know and I hope I look as pretty as you when I grow up!

I love my sister and brother, but I like it when just you and me do things together. In secret sometimes I wish you were there just for me. I like it when you do things that show me you want to be with just me. I want to learn to cook, write checks, go shopping, and drive, just like you do. When I play house with my friends, I pretend I'm you.

I don't remember very often to tell you this, but thanks for helping me with my homework, doing all that laundry, and cleaning my bathroom. When you let me do something like the laundry or fixing dinner, I realize how much work it is and I'm glad I don't have to do it all the time. No wonder you get so tired.

Don't worry if I complain sometimes or if I seem mad at you. It never lasts very long and I sometimes even forget why I was mad. Even when you tell me I can't do things I want to do, I sometimes figure out that you know what you are doing. Maybe I'll be smart like you someday.

When I show you a picture I drew or bring my report card home I feel so good inside when you stop what you are doing and look at it like it is the most important thing in the world. I know that my pictures are not always the best and my grades sometimes aren't great, but you encourage me anyway. That makes me want to try harder.

When you tuck me in bed at night, I'm so glad you are my mom. I feel safe when I'm with you, but I am sometimes afraid I won't have you with me anymore - that you might die or go away. I like it when you hug me and tell me that you love me even when I haven't done anything special. That makes me feel good. I love you and hope you will always love me.

Love, Your Daughter

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