Complaining.

What we complain about says a lot about who we are as people. There's that old saying, I complained about not having shoes until I met a man who had no feet. We can definitely find someone who has it worse than ourselves.

In times of duress when I feel like complaining, I just stop, count myself thankful that I am not that guy who gave the Mark McGuire record-breaking homerun back for free, you know, the homerun ball that just sold at auction for $3 million.

At least we live in a country where our right to complain is protected by the Constitution, that is, unless we were to complain about, maybe a naughty president. Then all of a sudden Larry Flynt is sending goons to our house to dig up our past. I sorta wish he would visit me, actually. I don't seem to remember anything I have done riskier than taking that Kroger candy stand candy four and five at a time instead of the regular three for a dime.

I wrote this little poem/song about how I can always look to someone who has it worse than me: It's called, "I complained," and it goes, something like this...

I complained that I wasn't rich,

And I felt very justified.

Then I met a state senator that had no lobbyist

To offer a bribe.

I complained when I got the bill

For a 40-dollar steak in a restaurant.

Then I met a baseball player that wasn't married

To a super model or a debutante.

I complain but I got no right...

Like losing my remote in the middle of the night.

I know I have it better than most...

Some people don't have a second house on the coast.

I complained about my HMO

And how it wouldn't cover the cost for my toupee.

Then I met a laser neurosurgeon

Who couldn't play golf but every other day.

Then I made the worst complaint of all...

That I didn't have any good shoes...

Then I met a man who didn't have feet...

But then I thought...

He doesn't even have to buy any shoes.

I complain but I got no right...

Like getting an aisle seat on a first class flight.

I know I have it better than most...

Some people don't even have a valet to make them toast.