The Fayette Citizen-Opinion Page
Wednesday, October 14, 1998
Spamming the globe in rhyme

By BILLY MURPHY
Laugh Lines

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Feeling in a rather Mother Goosey mood here are some of our current events put to childish verse.

Yokel Doodle went to town, a-riding on a pony;

Stuck it too America and proved to be a phony;

Yokel Doodle Arkansas, Yokel Doodle Dandy;

Now he'll surely get his due for keeping interns handy.

Ted and Jane went up the hill to fetch a pail of money;

Ted fell down and sued the clown until it wasn't funny;

Up Ted got and home to trot,

Jane ironed and pressed his creases;

12 valets attended him while he sent out press releases.

This little piggy invested in the market,

This little piggy mortgaged his home;

This little piggy bought Microsoft, using his cellular phone.

And all those piggies had to say, "Bye!" to their cash and are now all alone.

Georges, Georges, the hurricane,

Hit the beach in a pouring rain.

The storm did groan, the storm did moan

And it flattened every mobile home.

Batting Cage, Batting Cage, Record Breaking Man,

Hit me a homer as fast as you can;

Mark it with an infrared and mark it with a laser.

If I catch your record hit, I'll visit my appraiser.

Little Boy Blue, Chicago athlete,

You hit them so far, they land in the street.

Why doesn't the press your feats embrace?

'Cause the world doesn't care about second place.

Little Jerry Springer

Interviews a swinger, eating his Christmas pie.

The guest throws a punch,

And I've got a hunch

He's the best that money can buy.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the King's horses couldn't make the repair,

But they got him Viagra and he didn't care.

Rub a dub, three men in a tub,

Living in a small cohabitat.

I will end with this weird rhyme,

Not that there's anything wrong with that.


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