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Sad heart can’t stop wedding

By RONDA RICH

I can now say that I have lived long enough to see unconditional love in a form as pure, genuine and clear as sparkling water that rushes, untainted, directly from a mountain’s side.

I have watched as life at its most cruel went eyeball to eyeball with it but could not, in all its brutal force, stare it down.

With the closest scrutiny possible from human sight, I stared as unconditional love — that of a mother for a daughter — did not blink. Not even the tiniest eyelash flinched.

With unabashed admiration, I watched as that unconditional love carried itself with grace and dignity in the face of extreme tribulation. A Southern woman, one who makes her kind tremble with pride, refused to crumble under the heavy weight of a broken heart because unconditional love beckoned otherwise.

It is a sight that engraves itself in your soul, for it cannot be forgotten. Nor should it ever be.

Janice and her husband, Kenneth, had talked happily and planned excitedly for months for the upcoming nuptials of their daughter, Selena. Kenneth, by the accounts of those who knew best, wasn’t a man to be excited easily but just mention Selena’s wedding and his eyes blazed with happiness and anticipation.

Nine days before the sweet event, Kenneth disappeared. Without a trace, without a clue, without a word to anyone, Kenneth was gone. Forty-eight hours later, a park ranger found him in his pick-up near a river where he had gone to spend an afternoon fishing. At 46 years old, his heart had suddenly, unexpectedly sputtered its way to its last beat.

It goes without saying that his family, especially his wife, was devastated.

As plans began for his funeral, the big question became, “Should we postpone the wedding next week?”

Through her tears and her sorrow, Janice was adamant. “Absolutely not. He was looking forward to this wedding so much and if we postponed it, he would be so mad.”

On Monday, Janice, completely grief-stricken, buried her husband. Then, she put her pain aside to finish preparations for Saturday’s big wedding.

On Wednesday, she stood in rain and mud to direct the crew who was raising the huge, white tent for the reception. She checked final details such as menus, dresses and flowers.

Then the day arrived, the day that the family both welcomed and dreaded. It would be a day of both celebration and mourning.

A packed church of well-wishers turned to watch the woman, beautiful in both face and spirit, cling to the arm of her son and walk the aisle to her seat. She walked tall and proud with her head held high, a smile glistening on her face. Not once, did her lip quiver or her eyes moisten.

It was the most gorgeous example of a Steel Magnolia that I have ever witnessed.

Not one tear dropped from her eyes. But many dripped from the eyes of those who watched.

We could not fathom what she was feeling. We could not believe the privilege we had of seeing bravery at its best. The seat next to her was empty and she was alone. Still, there was no self-pity.

“I was determined that the day was going to be about Selena,” she said later. “This was her wedding and I refused to let my broken heart overshadow her happiness.”

That is unconditional love at its most potent.

Her daughter married my nephew, Rod, so it makes me mighty proud to know that the blood of that remarkable woman will one day mix with the blood of my people.

You can never have too much steel in your magnolias.