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Dear Father Paul

Dear Father Paul: I am so lonely I sometimes feel like I could just dig a hole and pull the dirt in over my head. I am advanced middle age, single and have moved to the area from the West coast. Bars and the "singles scene" turn me off. — Bob, Fayetteville.

Dear Bob: Welcome to the South, brother! New friends and loving (spiritual) family members await you at your nearest local church — or if that doesn't work for you, at my church, the Church Of The Holy Cross in Fayetteville.

Forgive the plug, but seriously Bob, the church is all about reaching out in love to others and developing relationships; it's what we do. Southerners (Southern church members) are the best in the world at doing just that. Visit several churches until you find the one God has already picked out for you. Don't ask me how, but you'll just know.

Dear Father Paul: My best friend moved away from the area several years ago and I'm afraid that we have grown apart mostly because of the distance. We still talk on the phone every month or so, but we haven't actually gotten together in nearly four years. In that time I have gained nearly 100 pounds! We talked last week and she mentioned that she is going to be here this October for a wedding. I blurted out something like, "that's great, I can't wait to see you," but, truthfully I wish she wouldn't come. I hate for her to see me like this. Any advice? — Heather, No City.

Dear Heather: I'll bet you look a lot better than you think. Still, 100 pounds is a lot, no question about it. You can't possibly take off 100 pounds in less than two months, but you CAN get started, and I would encourage you to begin a healthy, low-calorie diet today, with reasonable exercise.

You CAN look and feel a lot better by the time she gets here. Also, if she is one of those true "livelong friends" that are so rare and so precious, she loves you for who you are inside rather than what you might (temporarily) look like outside.  Next time you talk with her, ‘fess up that you have let your weight get a little out of hand recently, but you are working on it and you are dying to see her.

I'm betting that the two of you will have a wonderful visit.

Dear Father Paul: Should Christians give money to secular charities? — Dan, Peachtree City.

Dear Dan: Scripture doesn't address this question that I know of so I can't give you a Bible answer. For me, however, I believe that my FIRST responsibility, giving-wise, is to God's kingdom (not man's) through my local church. For me that has meant a tithe (10 percent) for over 30 years to whatever church I happened to be part of. We also give "offerings" above the tithe from time to time to our church, to other churches and Christian ministries.

Beyond the tithe, I think it is perfectly OK to support various charities with which you have a heartfelt interest. My wife Judy had a serious heart condition several years ago and we have given several times to the American Heart Association. There are many, many other fine organizations that also deserve support.

The sermon topic at Church Of The Holy Cross for Aug. 14 is "Great Faith." It would be my honor to pray for your need. Contact me at the address below.

Father Paul Massey will answer your question. Write him at paulmassey@earthlink.net or Box 510, Fayetteville, Georgia 30214.