Some tips for back to school

By MICHAEL BOYLAN

This one is for all of the local students who had to ditch their bathing suits and flip-flops and head back to school while summer is still going on full blast. I feel for you.

However, school isn’t all that bad. You get to see your friends, most of the time you’re not bored out of your skull and learning things is at least as good as watching episodes of “The Price is Right,” which was always on my to-do list on summer vacation.

Anyway, here’s my advice for the students this year, from what I can remember about my school days.

1. Do not cheat. One should never cheat, but if you make the wrong choice and decide to cheat, do not cheat on a geography quiz by looking at a map in the classroom. If you are cheating on a geography quiz and the teacher has turned the map upside down to discourage cheating, do not turn your head upside down to read the answers. There will be no convincing the teacher that you are not cheating.

2. Do your homework early. It is not called homeroom work, so don’t wait until the 15 minutes before your first class to do your homework. If at all possible, start your homework in the class that it was assigned. There is occasionally dead time towards the end of class and the answers are still fresh in your mind.

3. Pick your battles with your teachers. It is not wise to fight your teacher on how to do your classwork. If he or she says to use a pencil, do not use a pen. Never use a red pen, as teachers often feel that they are the only people on the planet who are allowed to use a red pen.

A good battle to get into with a teacher is the debate over how anyone can possibly rate poetry or decide what a poet, who is long dead, was trying to say. This debate can last the entire class period if you have strong allies in your class. Use the refrain, “Sometimes in my poems, I just say what I mean. Don’t you think (poet) was just saying what he or she meant?”

4. Participate in an extra-curricular activity. I know that the majority of students today are involved in too many extra-curricular activities but for those out there who feel disconnected from their peers or their school, join something. In high school, I was a member of the drama club, the student newspaper and the literary magazine. I always had something to do after school and on the weekends, I had a number of good friends and girlfriends and I have a lot of good memories.

5. Do not neglect your studies because of your extra-curricular activities. Let’s just say you get a big part in the school play. It takes up a lot of time after school and at night after rehearsal to learn your lines. You do the homework for the classes you like, but you just can’t be bothered with the work for the classes you don’t understand, like, say, algebra. This will catch up with you.

6. Do not try to change your grade on your report card with a pen.

7. Do not hide your report card or lie and say you never got it.

8. Get a tutor if you have to. This is not as embarrassing as it sounds and it actually will help you. Nobody has to know you need a tutor and 16 years later you probably won’t even remember the tutor’s name. I’m sorry, tutors of the world, but it is true. I do wish to thank that guy who helped me pass algebra in the ninth grade, though, whoever and wherever you are.

9. This one is a biggie. Do not participate in silly food dares. If someone dares you to eat nine Hostess cupcakes as fast as you can, do not do it. Do not blend together everything from the cafeteria into an unrecognizable blend and then attempt to eat it. You will most likely throw up and throwing up in school is a hard thing to live down.

10. Do not panic. School can feel like a big pressure cooker, especially as you progress through high school and you start really worrying about grades, colleges, your love life, getting a job, driving a car, having friends, etc. A bad day is just that, one day out of 365. The people who irritate you aren’t worth getting upset over. One day soon, you’ll never see them again. On that same note, enjoy your friendships and try to create as many as you can because one day soon, too soon, you will never see many of them again.

Enjoy the school year. Study hard and have a good time.