| ||
Wednesday, July 20, 2005 | ||
What do you think of this story? | Body language to go
By SALLIE SATTERTHWAITE Like most of the drivers who have had to navigate the infamous Georgia Hwy. 54/74 intersection in Peachtree City, I navigate no more. Sitting there hoping the traffic light doesnt catch me in the intersection allows plenty of time to find creative ways to get around while avoiding the quagmire. If I had to drive it daily, I think Id find another job, child care, or place to shop. It has to be costing the merchants in that area an awfully lot of revenue. Dave actually prefers driving clear to Fayettevilles Wal-Mart than the one in Peachtree City, for no reason except the traffic delay. Said he sat through three light changes one morning to go to Staples for something. He managed to turn around and get out of there, and was rewarded by finding the same purchase at K-mart, literally steps from our house, and at a better price. But I digress, and I havent even gressed yet. I had the misfortune to be southbound on Hwy. 74 when I realized that the lane I was in was going to merge with the one next to it just yards after I cleared the intersection. Seems like that particular vexation has been resolved several times in the past couple of years, but theres always someone who doesnt get the message, and this time, that would be me. Nonetheless, I was already embarrassed by my mistake when I heard - too close - the long blare of a car horn. I rode it out, having no choice by that time, and when the other vehicle passed me, its driver, a young woman, honored me with the Middle Digit Salute. I was in the wrong. She had probably averted an accident. She was angry and probably had reason to be. Just the fact that she had worked her way through that awful intersection without nicking paint gave her a certain cachet. And here I was, a threat who could have ruined not only her day, but her nifty little sedan. Now, I dont do gestures. But I wanted very much, under these circumstances, to apologize to her, to tell her I was sorry, and while I found her salute unsavory, I would under no circumstances return it to her. It got me to thinking. There are so many ways we can signal our displeasure with each other, but not so many to do the opposite, to apologize or signal Nice tie or Good driving to get through that intersection unscathed. Ive mentioned this quandary in conversation, and people usually suggest the V for Victory sign, the second and third finger, palm out. My concern about any finger signal is the chance for misinterpretation in the hubbub of tight traffic. Besides, in some cultures that particular signal does not bode well if turned around and given palm in. This is true for many of our innate gestures. Our beloved circle made with index finger and thumb - OK! - means something very different from approval in some societies. But were not in their society if were tangling with them at a busy intersection, quite so. This is our traffic nightmare and not the place to plan better communication while dodging each others grilles and fenders. If you Google a Web site called the Center for Nonverbal Studies, youll get an outfit in Spokane, Wash. which does exactly that, studies wordless conversation. By the faintest move of facial muscles, by the way your conversational partner holds his fingers, by whether your eyes cut right or left - bone up on nonverbal communication and youll know whether he means what hes saying verbally. So. Send me your suggestion in case I find myself offending another driver again. Did I mention that one friend did suggest the American Sign Language shortcut for I love you? You know, little finger and index finger straight out, the two middle ones folded down, and the thumb stretched out to form the letter L. Here again, unless you can be sure it is understood, theres a risk of misinterpretation. Suppose your fellow traveler takes you seriously and believes you do harbor fond thoughts of her? The Middle Digit Salute will be the least of your worries. Another consultant said she bows her head in contrition, and yet another makes his hands flat and waves them as though smoothing off a surface: My bad - forgive me. Im a bit worried that you arent paying strict attention to your driving, especially when both hands are off the wheel. I have it. Let cars be outfitted with one of those scrolling signs, produced, I presume, with a computer and mounted at the very top edge of the windshield and rear window. With a tap of a finger, you can start your message: Please excuse me. Learning to drive. Little old lady. Just turned 17. Late for lunch. Or, Whoops. | | |
Copyright 2004-Fayette Publishing, Inc. |