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Wednesday, July 6, 2005 | ||
What do you think of this story? | Older Ladies Talk
By SALLIE SATTERTHWAITE The first time I carpooled with an SUV full of that age group usually called older, I thought Id never learn all their names. Now, two years later, I still occasionally consult the list of approximately 25 women who exercise together, but, truth be told, I know far more about their medical and familial histories than I know about their names. The names ebb and flow, as their owners take time off for cataract surgery, visits of old friends, and the arrival of new great-grandbabies. Some leave and never find their way back, but their names live on in exercises they introduced: Joans stretch. Sarahs hand exercise. Vivians back stretch. If the rest of them are like me, exercise is right up there with flossing teeth on my list of least-favorite things to do. We hang in, though, knowing well be glad we did it. We dont necessarily expect to cure our arthritic backs and knees, but would be glad just to keep them from getting worse. A few of the girls have had really serious medical problems, and a few of them are made of stainless steel. And probably more than half of them are widows. So, yeah, theres a social element to our class and in the two hours a week we spend commuting. If theres a whiner, I havent met her. Most of these ladies are survivors who have seen too many of their sisters, parents, friends die early deaths because they let themselves become obese and sedentary. These women have looked Mortality in the eye and so far have backed him down. On occasion the conversation turns hilarious, as it did last week. Ive kicked myself again and again for not carrying a tape recorder in a pocket where I can turn it on unnoticed. Now, dear male readers, this might be a good time to turn the page and see what Mike Boylan thinks of the summers big movies. I dont want to embarrass anyone who has never said the word menstruation out loud in a crowd, or even just in front of his mother-in-law. Michaels been married long enough that he should know all about the feminine anatomy and its function, but I bet hes still not comfortable discussing it in mixed company. OK, you had your chance. Im not sure how we got on the subject of menstruation, but every one of us, aged from about 60 to mid-80s, came from an era when no one, male or female, discussed any aspect of reproduction. Or s-e-x, as we put it. Indeed, most of them said the first time they knew anything about menstruation was the day it happened to them. Cynthia ran to her mother when she discovered her own stained clothes. Her reward was a slap across her face from her grandmother. Why did she do that? we gasped. I donno, Cynthia mused. Some sort of tradition, I guess. I must say, my mother had plenty of time to tell me about monthly periods - mine didnt start until I was 14 - and thought herself very progressive. Its my father I really admired. We lived in the country, and Mom didnt drive, so the only way she could get anything from a drugstore or food market was to call Daddy before he left work. Mom was very matter-of-fact about it, slipping the words in between a dozen oranges and a box of elbow macaroni. What really intrigued me about our conversation last week was how we tried, as girls, to cover up this awful fact of life. In south-central Pennsylvania, if Millie missed school or couldnt go swimming, it was because she fell off the roof. Somehow we felt that such a descriptive, spoken out confidently, would disguise what really happened. It meant she had The Curse, another euphemism. That Millie came back to school next day not bruised or broken puzzled me, but not enough to let on, and certainly not enough to ask my peers about it. The others in the van chimed in with their euphemisms. I was surprised that they didnt know falling off the roof. Some recalled that their schoolmates would say, I have a little visitor or Companys coming. Another anachronism that Id forgotten about until this discussion was that girls could not wash their hair while on their periods. Tub baths and swimming, of course, as well as riding a bike, were out of the question. The only explanation I found even moderately acceptable was that ones immunity to infection might be slightly reduced if one got chilled. One of the girls said she was advised to stay away from boys while she had her period. Another said that she was talking to a girl friend, using the correct terminology in a low voice, when a boy asked what they were talking about. The administration, she shouted back. I dont know why this was such an improper discussion back in the 40s and 50s, or even today. This country is the source of some of the most sordid in-your-face sex and violence in the so-called arts, yet we still have grown men who excuse themselves to go to the little boys room. Everywhere weve traveled in Europe, the term is the toilet or Toilettes, Yes, there are usually separate ones for Dames et Hommes or Frauen und Herren - but not always. I guess we should be grateful The Curse is out of the closet. Next project: the little girls room. | | |
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