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Remember: When will men learn?

By RONDA RICH

The other day, I was getting ready for a photo shoot with Travis, my favorite photographer. We were shooting an outside cafe scene so he was busy setting up reflectors, worrying about exact location of the sun and mumbling that he wished the wind would pick up a bit. It takes a lot to make me look remotely glamorous.

I chattered as he worked.

“You know, I really didn’t like that last publicity photo we did,” I remarked. I saw him frown. He wants all of his subjects to love what he does. It was the first time ever that I hadn’t.

“But, you know,” I continued because I wanted to make certain he knew it wasn’t his fault. “I think it was because I didn’t like my hair.” I cast down my eyes sadly. “Remember, my curling iron broke.”

He was fiddling with the camera and didn’t look up. He merely shook his head. “No, I don’t remember that.”

I jumped up and ran over to him, swinging my arms in dramatic fashion. I cried out woefully. “You don’t remember that? How could you not remember that? It was my favorite curling iron! A sad occurrence in my life. It was a big deal. And, it happened when I was doing a photo shoot.”

Stunned, his head snapped up and he looked me at quizzically. “Well, no, I don’t remember but you can bet that I will remember from now on. I won’t forget again!” He chuckled.

See, that’s the problem with men. They can’t remember what’s important to us and then when they finally remember to remember because we’ve reminded them so often, it’s not worth it to us for them to remember any more.

Men. What are we gonna do with ‘em? It’s clear that we can’t live without ‘em. Personally, I don’t want to try. So, I guess we’re just going to have to keep teaching them.

In the hopes of making some relationships go smoother, here’s some rules for the guys that can be clipped out and stuck on the refrigerator door:

Hair is important. To a Southern woman, it’s a crowning glory, so brag on it when it looks good, go forth silently when it doesn’t.

Name that day: That we met, first kissed, got engaged, got married. We do not think it’s funny that you can remember the date of every grand slam home run hit by Mickey Mantle 40 years ago but can’t remember your sweetheart’s birthday.

Big isn’t necessarily better. Contrary to popular belief, we aren’t always looking for extravagant gifts. We love the little surprises in life: the kids spending a day with you while mom relaxes; a signed first edition of a favorite book; a sweet card under the pillow; making certain that our cars are always fueled and washed.

Of course, if you’re in enough trouble, it can never be too big. Think Porsche.

Timing: Saying “I love you” means more when it’s said for no reason rather than when it’s said for that reason. A bit of attention will yield a terrific return. It’s a good investment.

Your mama is not always right. Especially when she’s in disagreement with the one currently in charge of mothering you. Don’t ever forget that.

As for you guys, don’t worry. We know the rules. A little food and a lot of loving goes a long way. And for what’s it worth, the more y’all follow your rules, the more we’ll follow ours.

I thought that would get your attention.