A few things I have learned

I have been a father for 33 years, my first of three sons being born when I was 21 years old. Now, I am a grandfather of seven and it looks like another may be on the way. In those years, I believe that I've learned a thing or two about responsibilities owed to oneself, one's children, grandchildren, and to those that follow.

The first thing I've learned is that we must fulfill our own destiny. In the Old Testament passage of Jeremiah 29:11, we read God saying, "I know the plans I have for you; plans for your welfare and not for calamity that you may have a future and a hope." I believe that it is not nearly as important to "do" as it is to "be." My children used to ask me what I wanted them to do when they grew up. I replied that I really wasn't concerned about what they might "do" but I wanted them to "be" good men who were responsible and loved God. King Solomon basically said that the purpose of man is to "love God and walk in his word." King David was a shepherd, a singer, a warrior, a king, an adulterer, a murderer, a liar, a sorrowful penitent, and a fugitive — yet he always remained, even at his worst, a "man after God's own heart." I believe that it is simply quite impossible to fulfill our destiny apart from a relationship with God.

The second thing that I have learned is that we must train, pray for, and bless the next generation. As a father, I was always aware that I was raising my sons to leave home, marry, establish families, and be men who could stand on their own two feet. I have done my part and, even though I was a very imperfect trainer and father, I am proud of my sons. They are all family men now and the "priests of their homes." As a pastor, I have to think about training the next generation of spiritual leaders, as well. I've been told that "healthy sheep beget other sheep." It's also true that healthy shepherds (clergy) should produce other healthy clergy."

I am in the ministry because of a United Methodist pastor who saw potential in a teenage kid and encouraged him to enter the ministry. That minister even helped arrange for some of my college tuition to be paid when things got tight. Because of him, I have learned to look for potential for ministry in others. Today, five men pastor churches in Georgia that I helped to recruit into the ministry. One man serves as a pastor in North Carolina. Another is a missionary in Colombia, South America. Still another serves as the pastor of a church of 1,000 in western Colorado. Another seven have been ordained in my current denomination and an additional 20 or so were licensed or ordained in my previous denomination. All were laymen that I trained and recruited for ministry. In a very real way, all are my "spiritual children." I am proud of them all and, God willing, there are more to come.

The third thing that I have learned is that we have the ability to influence and the responsibility to bless and pray for the third generation. It's not my job to train my grandchildren. That heavy responsibility belongs to their parents. Yet, they like to be around me and, so far, they seem to listen to me. I have yet to seriously discipline them. I suppose if I was put in the position of raising them, I would take on the role of parent, but that, happily, is not my lot. So, I spoil them, let them stay up late, sneak them candy, talk with them when they are angry with their parents, and, when I can, try to influence them to take the good path. I have no tattoos because my Grandpa urged me never to get one, even though he had four. I never smoked because Grandpa influenced me not to smoke, even though he smoked a pipe. He has been dead 32 years now and I still miss him and continue to be influenced by him. I have many small children in my congregation who may be called to ministry. It is likely that another will train them. I hope to be allowed to be an influence to them in the years ahead.

The fourth thing that I've learned is that, when it comes to the fourth generation, our job is simply to enjoy them. A few days ago, my wife's parents visited. My two sons who live nearby brought their families over and we all shared dinner. Afterwards, I watched my in-laws simply enjoy their seven great-grandchildren. They don't attempt to train them, or even to influence them. They simply enjoy them and I am quite certain that they bless them and pray for them. If I live to be in my 80s and 90s, I expect that, with the rippling effects of influence, there will be hundreds of men in the ministry who are my spiritual children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. While I may have been actively involved with the second and third generations, I will have to be content to watch and enjoy those young men in their 20s who are just entering the ministry as I am preparing to end my days in this mortal body.

And, then, that's it. We are finished. But if we do our jobs well, long after we are dead, our natural and our spiritual descendants will speak our names at family gatherings and church meetings and tell their own children and, perhaps, even their grandchildren about us. If we do are jobs well, we will affect our world to the third and fourth generations and it will have made a difference that we were here.