Gleason gets gutted (Where are Shark Boy and Lava Girl when you need them?)

The Honeymooners (No stars)

The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3D (4 stars)

This film (and I use the term loosely) is based on the classic Jackie Gleason TV show, “The Honeymooners,” but the resemblance is next to zero. Where the original was filled with the insane antics of Gleason and Art Carney, this God-awful mess has been handed over to some of the worst comedic actors in the business.

Cedric the Entertainer delivers none of the true character of Ralph Kramden, instead playing the beloved American icon as Sir Mix-A-Lot. It’s painful to watch him slowly destroy a good idea, but it’s his sidekick, Mike Epps, as Norton, who really stinks up the act. Epps is beyond bad (and that’s not good) as the bumbling sewer man, Ed. His comic timing is non-existent. It feels a lot like when a relative who thinks they are funny embarrasses you. You just want to crawl under your chair.

Gabrielle Union as Alice and Regina Hall as Trixie, two beautiful women married to two bozos, don’t have much to do except look aghast at the proceedings. Eric Stolz plays the bad white guy who will stop at nothing to keep the famous foursome from buying their dream duplex. John Leguizamo is thrown in for good measure as a dog trainer, but to no avail. The script is idiotic and formulaic. What could have been a great period comedy is updated to the present and given an urban overhaul. Cedric has talent that seems obvious. Unfortunately, it doesn’t shine here.

As for “The Adventures of Shark By and Lava Girl in 3D,” I found it completely charming, despite it’s simplified story that is a mere pastiche of other classic childhood fantasies, namely, “The Wizard of Oz” and “The Never Ending Story” to name two. Even though I can’t use the 3D glasses too well because of my left eye (that’s another whole adventure) I was mesmerized by the imaginative dream worlds the hero, Max imagines. Young ones will find plenty to enjoy here.

Shark Boy and Lava Girl are two super-heroes dreamed up by Max to help him battle his archenemy, a bully at school named Linus. Robert Rodriguez of “Sin City” fame teamed up with his kids to bring their daydreams to life. The result is a surreal and quirky little tale that would have made Salvador Dali envious. At times, the film feels a little too much like a theme park attraction. However, the pure whimsy of the production is sure to make this a cult classic fave in the tradition of “The Dark Crystal,” and “Labyrinth.” I suggest watching the whole thing without the glasses. The 3D isn’t all that and actually detracts from the movie. Sure there’s lots of uneven coloring, but it only adds to the weird worlds that await.