It’s all about the kids

It’s all about the kids. I’m talking about sports, especially sports for younger children.

You wouldn’t know that, however, by the actions of some coaches and parents. You’d think it was all about them. By the time kids hit junior high school, the emphasis is on winning. But at the lower levels, it should be about learning the game, making friends, and having fun. It should be all about the kids.

For two years, I coached kids football for the Boy’s Club back when my oldest kid was just a pup and swore I’d never do it again. The kids were great, but a few parents always ruined the day by pitching some kind of fit. And, of course, there were always a few coaches who fancied themselves as Vince Lombardi and used the kids to stroke their own egos as they pulled out all the stops to win the 5-and-6-year-old football championship. Most of these losers were never successful athletes themselves but, give them a few kids, and they acted like they knew more about quarterbacking than Joe Montana. Oh, and there were always a few officials who, having no power anywhere else in their lives, became tyrants on the field.

One summer, I coached little kids baseball at that same Boy’s Club. I became a coach at midseason only because a few loud-mouthed, complaining parents made the games so intolerable that the coach just walked out in the middle of a game and never came back. So I, who had never played baseball, was suddenly a baseball coach. We lost a lot of games, but the kids and I learned together and we did have fun. At the very first sign of parental trouble, I told the bellicose parents they could take their kids and leave if they didn’t like what was happening on the field and, finally, they shut up and just let the kids have a good time.

Now, as the grandfather of seven, I go to pre-T Ball games, girls’ softball games, and boys’ Little League games. "As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be," a few parents, coaches, and officials, who have forgotten that it’s all about the kids, once in a great while, ruin what should be a wonderful childhood experience.

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question. "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?" The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. "I believe, that when a child like Shay comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story. Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging. Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and, getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the outfield. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, does the team let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. 

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher took the ball and turned and threw the ball on a high arc to right field, far beyond the reach of the first baseman. 

Everyone started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" By the time Shay rounded first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third baseman's head. Shay ran toward second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases toward home. Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!" 

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, "Shay, run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team. 

"That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world."

If we who are adults would just sit down, be quiet, except to encourage, and let the kids play and have fun, we’d all have a better experience. It is, after all, all about the kids.