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The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

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Once again, the film doesn’t come anywhere near to the promise of the previews. I should have known. I’ve been burned so many times by a clever ad campaign. Yes, I was very excited to see Doug Adam’s book of absurd universal mumbo jumbo make it to the big screen. Imagine my chagrin when it all went south.

I enjoyed the BBC’s televised serial (which I actually prefer to this overblown pap). That was years ago. Now with CGI effects and plenty of actors to choose from, one would think that the big screen adaptation would be unbelievably fantastic!

One would be wrong.

It’s merely O.K. and for material as imaginative as Adam’s, this is simply not acceptable. I’m not sure who let me down, the actors, the director, or Disney. I’m thinking Disney.

It’s as if they hit it with the dreaded “Cutesy Ray” erasing all the juicy cynicism in one blast. What’s left are interesting visuals and a cheeky narrative by Stephen Fry.

Martin Freeman plays the pivotal Earthing role of Arthur Dent to some effect. Unfortunately the effect leaves you wanting more, a lot more. Mos Def is surprisingly good as Ford Prefect, Arthur’s alien friend and fellow hitchhiker.

The two first meet up with the hideous Vogons, who have just vaporized Earth to make way for an interstellar bypass. Once on their slimey ship, they check to make sure they have their towels and venture forth.

This is the sort of silliness that makes the story fun to follow through space. It just seems that the cast doesn’t seem to have much fun with it. It’s a goofy premise, but the actors don’t seem to know how to play it for laughs, to make it really funny. They just go through the motions as if it’s all the most normal set of circumstances in the world. A story this wild could have used a lot more comedic talent and a little less awe-inspiring effects.

One of the funniest characters,Zaphod Beeblebrox, played by Sam Rockwell could have been a lot more outrageous. He’s not terrible, but the two-headed president of the galaxy seems merely happy to be along for the ride.

Zooey Deshanel as love interest Trish, is so bland and uninteresting that I really have nothing more to say about her lackluster performance.

The great Alan Rickman voiced the ever-depressed Marvin the robot. I was depressed that the BBC’s Marvin was much funnier than Rickman. Once again, it’s a literal translation of what could have been very, very funny.

Even John Malkovich has a bit part as Humma Kavula, an alien who lost the galactic election to Zaphod. Malkovich has little to do but be buried in special effects, kind of like the rest of this movie.

I don’t think I laughed once during this film, not one titter. I may have smiled once or twice, but I do that on my own anyway just by thinking about something amusing. I guess that means this movie was just ever so slightly amusing.

Perhaps I’m jaded. Perhaps I’ve seen one too many films. Perhaps I would have liked this film if I had never heard of it. I’ll never know. I do know that this kind of story has been done a lot better and a lot funnier before on the big screen and in print. Rent “Morons From Outer Space” or “Visit To A Small Planet” for starters. And if you want to see where Adams got his skewed view of the universe, read Kurt Vonnegut’s “Cat’s Cradle” or “The Sirens of Titan.”

So I guess I blame the actors, the director, and Disney. I blame everybody. This is another massive big budget failure. But you might like it.