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Wednesday, Jan. 26, 2005
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What do you think
of this story?
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Too Closer for ComfortOh, those poor married people. When will they ever learn? You cant have your cake and eat it too. Here we have another quartet of dissatisfied, frivolous grown-ups playing at love and marriage like they know they are being filmed by legendary director Mike Nichols. The problem is that Nichols is starting to show his age because this movie is tired! Jude Law (in yet another film) plays roguish Dan Wolf, first time author and pursuer of interesting women. He meets Alice Ayres (Natalie Portman), a quirky American stripper when she gets hit by a car on a busy London street. Its love at first sight, naturally. Portman does her funky chick bit (again) inspiring Jude to write a book that is doomed for the bargain bin. Enter Julia Roberts as a professional photographer. She photographs Jude for his dust jacket and before the session ends, Jude decides he must, nay, he shall have her. Julia bites her enormous lower lip for the first, but definitely, not the last time in this movie. Through a nasty prank played in an adult chat room (and I do mean Nasty) Jude unintentionally sets up Larry (Clive Owen) a dermatologist with time to spare for a rendevous with Miss Roberts. Its love at second sight and they end up getting married. Meanwhile, Julia is cheating on Clive with Jude. She eventually confesses, destroying her marriage. Jude leaves Natalie for Julia, but everything goes sour. Natalie leaves Jude and goes back to a life of stripping thanks to her trusty pink wig. After the whole Jude and Julia thing ends, Mr Law tries to get back with Natalie, but at the last minute she decides she doesnt love him anymore. As some crazy gnome once remarked in 200 Motels, Does this kind of life sound interesting to you? The answer is No! My interest in this picture started at mediocre and plummeted from there. By the end I was in more pain than any of the characters in the movie. Im not sure what sort of message I was supposed to get from this plot. The nearest I can figure is that no matter which side of the pond you are on, being unfaithful can really mess up your relationship. No,duh! There were comparisons made to Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf? when this thing premiered. Perhaps since this movie is from a play as is Virginia Woolf, and concerns two couples who become intimately involved, it seemed appropriate to mention the classic film starring Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. Sorry, these two plays arent even in the same universe. Yeah, right Patrick Marber, you wish you were Edward Albee. Itís nice to see Clive Owen use more facial expression than he did in Croupier, but that is no reason to sit through this tale. Closer is just slightly less annoying than We Dont Live Here Anymore, another recent movie about four unfaithful people who deserve all the pain they inflict on each other. That film made me want to stick my head in the oven. This one makes me want to turn on the gas. Enough is enough! |
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Copyright 2004-Fayette Publishing, Inc. |