Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Penned 'thank you' notes top Divas' lists

By RONDA RICH
Contributing Writer

There was a time when it was as common as a stack of paper plates at a family reunion. You could always count on it being there. Then time and the telephone rendered it as common as a long kiss after a second date. Chances were that it would happen but it wasn’t an absolute.

Now, thanks to the popularity of e-mail and a society that rarely slows down, it’s about as common as a blind date that goes well. It occasionally happens.

But the other day, it happened to me four times and the delight it brought to my heart reminded me of its necessity in society. Why, I wondered, is this ultimate sign of graciousness disappearing like dew in the summer sun?

I smiled happily when I found the treasure, not hidden, but, instead, lying openly on top of the bills that pay regular, unwelcome visits and the myriad catalogs that have discovered that it is financially rewarding to move into my house.

The quality of the stationery immediately gave them away. The handwriting on the envelopes unmasked them completely. Four divas had taken the time, the ink and the expensive, monogrammed linen note cards to write a note of gratitude for various acts.

Two notes came from ladies who are charter members of an Atlanta group of Dixie Divas in Buckhead and who wrote to say that they believe firmly in the graciousness of Southern womanhood. That, I could tell, before I ever opened the envelope.

The postal service is a mostly wonderful thing. Although I have my occasional complaints, I am grateful for a service that guarantees delivery to every home in America, especially the deliveries that remind me of the goodness in people.

As a matter of complete disclosure, you should know that my sister, the precious one in the family, is a postmaster. My mama believes that my sister, the postmaster, is her greatest maternal success, an outstanding example of the beautiful fruit of her womb. A lot of mama’s pride is based on my sister’s profession, a fact that she shares proudly and equally with those who are interested and those who pretend to be.

I’ve written a lot of thank you notes in my life. I once wrote a gushing one to the date who took me to Hank Williams’ grave in the middle of the night in the middle of a hauntingly dark cemetery in the middle of Montgomery. Any guy who goes searching for a grave at midnight by the light of a five-watt flashlight deserves a handwritten thank you note.

I’ve written others for jobs I didn’t get, promotions I did, reviewers who loved my work and those who didn’t. But I am certain that each note made an impression on the one who received it and made each person think a little more favorably of me.

It’s a common courtesy but one that is fighting to survive in a day when too many wrongly think that an e-mail thank you will do. It won’t.

Instead, folks should be more like my niece Nicole, whose thank you notes are nothing short of a lyrical work of art. Handwritten thank you notes are like a homemade salve that soothes the souls battered by the harshness of everyday life.

For my mama’s sake and the sake of all the other mamas of postmasters, please help my sister and her colleagues keep their steady employment. Just pull out the monogrammed notepaper and get busy writing those notes. Like daddy use to say, it’s the right thing to do. Or in this case, the write thing to do.

[Ronda Rich is the author of “What Southern Women Know (That Every Woman Should)” and “My Life In The Pits.” She lives in Gainesville, Ga.]

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