Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Anybody want to buy a dog?

By LINDSAY BIANCHI
lbianchi@thecitizennews.com

Little did I know that the sweet, little puppy I rescued from the pound two months ago would turn into the giant four legged creature slowly devouring my living room furniture. It used to be such a nice, comfortable room, a good place to relax and read or watch the tube. Not anymore. Now it belongs to Angel and her massive doggie toy collection. I’ve done my best to keep my own personal belongings from the reach of her razor sharp teeth. Still, I slip up on occasion and find her chewing through my wallet, making sure that my insurance card is unreadable.

I have sequestered her to the front part of the house now, the cool, air-conditioned area. She loves it. I can’t let her roam free anymore. If I look away for a moment, I find her with a half chewed slipper in her clutches. I’m slowly getting used to her attacks. She lunges at me out of love. She gets so excited when I have visitors that I’m afraid she will have to be taken to a puppy mental institution.

Sometimes we play in the yard. She likes to run in six directions at once. There seems to be a lot of sticks, leaves and the odd bit of litter that she needs to inspect. Unfortunately, she also feels the need to inspect other peoples’ yards and the middle of busy streets. We are now looking into alternative ways of getting exercise short of erecting a fence. Since they don’t make hampster wheels in the eight foot diameter size, the two of us have been visiting nearby parks in the area.

She loves to ride in the car. It’s just getting her to jump in that poses the biggest challenge. eventually I have to pick her up and sit her on the passenger’s seat. I think she has the suspicion that I am taking her somewhere where puppies are made to behave. Actually, i wish I knew where that place was. I need a suite of rooms there!

Her biggest day of late was the “Bark in the Park” event at McCurry Park. It was a great learning experience for both of us. Dogs of all shapes and sizes were being catered to like kids at Chuckie Cheese. An obstacle course showed how talented these four legged friends could be. Angel tried her hand at chasing a white cloth on a wire. She did real well until she caught up to it and realized it wasn’t another doggie toy. She lost interest immediately. We stepped aside to let others show how it was done.

There were a lot of informative booths to visit as well. Doggie daycare services, grooming services, pet food specialists and other general info displays help me realize how clueless I truly was about the canine experience. The offers these helpful humans made were very tempting. I would love to have them come and walk Angel every morning, groom her, teach her to speak Spanish, anything! My budget, however, does not allow for such extravagances. I guess I’m doomed to pick up after her with a smile sewn on my face and a look of abject horror in my eyes.

I can’t blame her for wanting to be in the middle of everything I do. You can only chew on stuff so long. So what if I can’t see anymore because my glasses are a mangled mess of wire! Who cares that i can’t finish the novel I was reading because the last chapter is now soggy confetti! What does it matter that my perfectly preserved copy of “Ice Cream Castle” by The Time has been sent to the doggie discount bin with the upper left corner eaten away?

I have the love and attention I have always craved from human beings in one sleek, sassy package! Angel gets away with murder, it’s true. I may not be the best parent in the world, but I had my share of mishaps as a youngster, as well. I didn’t chew up everything in sight. I just slowly eroded my choppers with candy and soda pop.