Friday, February 20, 2004
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Friday, February 20, 2004 |
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Tips on tipping By DAVID EPPS A few weeks ago, I received a letter from a woman who, if I am any judge of character, is a committed Christian woman who has been involved in significant ministry for a number of years, is faithful in church, and is a devoted mother and wife. It is this concern as a mother that has her distressed. It seems that the woman’s 23-year-old daughter has worked as a waitress in restaurants in several states over the last few years. The daughter has a bachelor’s degree from a very reputable college. Recently, the young lady informed her mother that she “hates when she gets Christians for customers.” On Sundays, the Christians are pretty easily identified. They are the ones who come to the restaurant soon after the noon hour and are dressed in their “Sunday best.” The young woman told her mother that the Christians were “the rudest, most demanding, most impatient of all customers.” And, if all that wasn’t bad enough, she said that the Christians were the “worst tippers.” In fact, only one group of customers tipped less than the Christians and that group consisted of U. S. soldiers. One can understand why soldiers wouldn’t be great tippers. Most are very young, between 17 and 20, have never been taught about tipping, and have very little discretionary money. The daughter said that the attitude and behavior of Christians, whether on the West coast or near the East coast, was consistent. The mother asks the question, “Why is this? If my Christian daughter is disgusted with Christians, what must non-Christian waitresses think of us? Are we blowing it or what?” The mother went on to share that, right now, she is not too crazy about Christians either. This woman works with a number of other Christians at her place of employment and has discovered that it’s the Christians who are the worst gossipers and “backbiters.” Are we blowing it? Yes, we certainly are. According to the Apostle Paul, Christians should be the embodiment of “love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, (and) self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23 NKJV). Christians are also instructed to be “cheerfully generous,” for, as Paul says, “God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7 NKJV). Frankly, I can understand why the young waitress would consider giving up on Christians and on church. In over 30 years of ministry, I can state that the worst psychological and emotional wounds I have ever seen inflicted were administered by those who claimed to be followers of Christ. One Baptist pastor told me over breakfast several years ago that, “Christians are the meanest people I’ve ever seen.” Doubtless, some will be horrified that I have “aired our dirty laundry” and claim that I will “turn people away from God,” but the one of the best ways to disinfect something is to expose it to the light. Besides, most people aren’t disgusted with God; it’s God’s people they have trouble with. Shame on us for being such pathetic witnesses. Shame on us for not being generous with waiters and waitresses who make about $2.13 per hour. Shame on us for being rude, demanding, impatient, and stingy. Shame on us for not reflecting Jesus in our daily lives. I spoke with a pastor from North Georgia this week who shared that he was in a Chinese restaurant recently when a young woman with a child came up to him and said, “I know you — I used to be your server at (a certain) restaurant.” My friend wears a clerical collar so he is easily identified. “Where is your church?” she said. “I want to come to your church.” My friend was curious as to why she wanted to come to his church, so he asked her. She replied that he had always been a very generous tipper and that impressed her. It was true. My friend is the kind of man who orders a $5 burger and leaves a $10 tip because he “wants to bless the waitress.” I have seen him do just that on numerous occasions. The full-time pastor of a church of about 60 people, he is not a wealthy man. But he is a “cheerfully generous” man. Which kind of Christian do you think a person ought to be? The kind of Christian encountered by letter writer’s daughter, or the kind of Christian who leaves a ridiculously large tip simply because he wants to show the love of Christ and "bless" those who work hard for little pay? The answer is painfully obvious. The lady who wrote the letter said that Christians need to get their “public act together.” We could start, she said, by “acting Christlike in public.” I agree with her. It doesn’t matter if one has all the right doctrine, espouses all the correct beliefs, hands out hundreds of tracts, gives loads money to the church, holds positions of responsibility in the local congregation, or even abstains from all the “big” sins, if one behaves worse that the pagans once the Sunday service is over! As James said, “... faith, by itself, if it does not have works, is dead” (James 2:17 NKJV). So, be respectful, be less demanding, be patient, and — for the love of Christ — leave a generous tip! [Father David Epps is rector of Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church, which meets at 8 a.m. and 10 a.m. Sundays on Ga. Highway 34 between Peachtree City and Newnan. He may be contacted at frepps@ctkcec.org or at www.CTKCEC.org.] |