Friday, January 30 2004
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Friday, January 30 2004 |
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The $1,309 pigeon By Rick Ryckeley Forget about the military spending $600 on a toilet seat. Don’t be alarmed that the Air Force has spent $100 for a 25-cent bolt. Only in our nation’s capital can one spend $1,309 on a pigeon. Who in their right mind would spend $1,309 on a pigeon? My hand slowly goes up; that person not in his right mind was me. If you are a regular reader, I’m sure that’s not too much of a surprise. But, read on, there’s more to the story. About this time each January, hordes of high school students descend upon Washington for the much acclaimed “Close-Up” program. The weeklong program has educated students about the inner workings of the government and the affairs of state for the last twenty years. So when The Boy came to me back in November and said he wanted to go, I was one proud Dad. That was, of course, before the now infamous pigeon incident. Being a parent of a teenager, I’ve found out a few things. For one, teenagers will argue with a rock ... and win. For the last two months we’ve argued about what he should pack for the trip. He wanted to pack tennis shoes. I wanted him to pack dress shoes. He wanted to pack cargo pants. I wanted him to pack dress pants. He thought a sweatshirt with his high school name emblazoned across the front would be fine to wear to a panel discussion. I told him to wear a sweater. And we won’t even talk about what he said I could do with the tie. By the time the trip rolled around, I had come to the realization that $1,309 wasn’t a bad price to pay for a week’s worth of peace and quiet. Guess I wasn’t alone in my thinking. When I dropped The Boy off at the airport, some 70 other parents in the county decided that it was a good price also. The last thing I said before he checked his bag was, “If you get a chance at a panel discussion, stand up and ask a question.” The Boy just turned and walked off, mumbling something under his breath. I think he said he’d miss me. Back at home The Wife and I rented six movies and went out to dinner three times during the week — not once arguing with The Boy. The Boy, on the other hand, called four times on the cell phone I told him not to take, told us that they walked through the Air and Space Museum, saw the Lincoln Memorial, took a tour of the Capitol, and met our representative. He called The Wife once from Arlington and asked her if she knew where he could buy flowers for one of the graves. The last time he called, The Boy said, “You guys gotta watch C-SPAN tomorrow night. I went to a panel discussion and got to ask a question!” Upon hearing this, I was one proud dad and immediately e-mailed the entire family. The next night all were huddled around the TV watching “Close-Up” on C-SPAN. The panel discussion was about paradigm shifts in American history. After almost an hour, it was time to take a few questions. The Boy stood up and asked a very intelligent question, and I was proud of him — even though he was wearing a sweatshirt with his high school name emblazoned across the front. The week passed quickly, and The Wife and I went to the airport to pick him up. We met at baggage claim, and while waiting for his bags, he told us excitedly all that he did in Washington. “The Wife was right,” I thought, “’Close-Up’ is a good program to stimulate kids to learn about the government.” Then we saw the brave history teacher who volunteers each year to chaperone the kids. Somewhat haggard, he walked over, and I shook his hand to thank him for his bravery. The first words out of his mouth were, “Your son had the most memorable moment of the whole trip!” “His question to the panel was good,” I thought as my chest swelled with pride, “but I didn’t realize it was that good.” Then the teacher said, “He caught a pigeon!” I turned to The Boy, who was smiling from ear to ear. “Dad, it was easy. I was feeding it a cracker when someone said, ‘Bet you can’t catch it.’ I just grabbed it and picked it up.” Dumbfounded at what he had done, I informed him that pigeons are notorious for carrying diseases. (Sometimes I sound just like my dad.) “Don’t worry, Dad,” he smiled. “I was wearing your gloves.” On the way to the truck The Boy informed me that he gave the pigeon to his friend Cyle, who stowed it away under his coat. Then they rode the Metro (Washington’s form of mass transit by rail) to Maryland, changed trains twice during the trip, and got back to their hotel where they knocked on the history teacher’s door and proudly presented him with their feathered trophy. “Son,” I said, “please tell me I didn’t spent $1,309 to send you to Washington just so you could catch a pigeon!” The Boy assured me that the pigeon was just a sidebar to his trip. He saw a play called “Crowns,” went to a dance, and learned a bunch about the government, free trade, and how the Iowa caucuses work. He attended seminars on national security, international affairs, and committee hearings of the House and the Senate. Unloading his bag, he asked if he could go again next year. “Sure,” I replied, “As long as you get your own gloves, and you promise not to catch any more pigeons.” The Boy turned and walked up the steps to his room, mumbling something under his breath. I think he said that he missed me and was glad to be home. The Wife and I missed him too. [Rick Ryckeley is employed by the Fayette County Department of Fire and Emergency Services. He can be reached at saferick@bellsouth.net.] |