By Rick Ryckeley
Fayette County Fire & Emergency Services

Someone much wiser than me once said, “Everyone knows when they were born, but no one knows when they’re going to die.” Those are some very thought-provoking words to start this holiday season; words that could change the very dynamics of how one views the next couple of weeks with family and friends.

What if this were to be the last Thanksgiving you spent with your Mom? What would you say to her? Now that you too have gone through the pain of childbirth and have children of your own, do you have a higher respect and understanding of what your mom went through for you?

Would you ask your mom how she juggled raising five children, taking care of a husband, two dogs, one cat, and grocery shopping, cooking dinner every night and still — somehow — have time left over to help out with everyone’s homework? You really would like to know how she managed all that because you can’t and you only have two kids.

Would you tell your mom you really didn’t mean to take her for granted now that you too do laundry every morning before going to work and every night after dinner? Will you tell her now you understand why she got mad when you didn’t take the stacks of clean clothes upstairs and put them away when she asked you to? If you did take the clothes upstairs, they stayed on the floor of your closet and got dirty again. Then you simply put them back into the laundry hamper, making your mom do countless more loads than needed.

Would you now have empathy for your mom who tried to stretch money as far as it would go by cooking pot roast twice a week, even though you protested every time that you hated it? Would you let her know you realize now why she got mad when anyone wasted food? Food was expensive back then as it is now.

At this “last Thanksgiving,” would you tell her you now appreciate everything she tried to do for you, all of the sacrifices she made and all of the life lessons she tried to teach in the eighteen short years you lived with her? Would you tell her that those lessons you resisted so hard and didn’t listen to are the same ones you’re now trying hard to teach your children? Would you ask her for help, ‘cause for some reason you kids won’t listen either.

What if this were to be the last Thanksgiving you spent with your dad? What would you say to him? Now that you’re bigger and stronger than he is, would you stand up to him and finally say what you think — telling him all the things you wanted to tell him when you were growing up but were too small and afraid to do so? Would you say you resented all of his rules and his constantly telling you what to do?

Now that you have children, would you tell your dad that you didn’t like it when he took the car away and made you walk for three months after you got that speeding ticket in front of a school zone? Would you tell your dad how unfair you thought it was that he lent you money when you asked but made you pay it back by working for him so you could learn the value of a dollar — unlike the other kids you grew up with.

If this were the last Thanksgiving I spent with my dad, what would I say? When I saw him, I’d walk up to him, hug him and say, “Thanks, Dad, for giving.” If this were the last Thanksgiving I spent with my Mom, what would I say? I would say, “Thanks, Mom, for giving and putting your life on hold to raise us five kids.” Sadly though, I will never get that chance; Mom has been gone for many Thanksgivings now.

When you’re giving thanks for the dry turkey, sweet potatoes, corn bread stuffing, deviled eggs, and pumpkin pie next Thursday, be sure to look up and give thanks to those who took care of you for the first 18 years of your life - and some of us for a little bit longer. Give thanks to those people this Thanksgiving ‘cause, “Everyone knows when they were born, but no one knows when they’re going to die.”

[Rick Ryckeley is employed by the Fayette County Department of Fire and Emergency Services. He can be reached at saferick@bellsouth.net.]

Back to thø Opinion Home Page| Back to the top of the page