Friday, October 10, 2003
Friday, October 10, 2003 |
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Feng Shui vs. the Stack and Pile System By Rick Ryckeley A simple and effective system — the stack and pile system. One that, I’m proud to say, has been in use at our house for years. I originally started using stack and pile while attending the University. You know the system: any important papers or folders are stacked on top of the desk in the office, easily within reach. When the desk becomes full, simply pile the stacks on the floor. When the floor is full, buy a bigger house. I ask you, what system could be easier? Believe it or not, someone has come up with one…or have they? Ah yes, the stack and pile system, a simple system for anything important anywhere in the house — a system in harmony with nature, or so I thought. Then along comes Feng Shui. Translated into English, it means, “How to totally disorganize the stack and pile system.” The following is a comparison of my Stack and Pile system vs. the ancient Chinese art of energy flow and organization called Feng Shui. Wonder which system will win out? Hint: it’s my newspaper column. With Feng Shui, you have energy flowing throughout your house called Chi. If there’s too much stuff in your house, the Chi won’t flow and you’ll have no energy. Feng Shui dictates that you clean your house and throw out all the stuff you have painstakingly collected over the years at yard sales. Not so with my Stack and Pile system. The Stack and Pile system is simpler and requires a lot less effort. By the time you work eight hours at your job, come home and cook dinner, do two loads of laundry (that is, of course, before your son brings down his full laundry basket), feed the cats and the dog, and then finally sit down at ten, you’ll have no energy left to clean or throw things out. The Stack and Pile system understands this, and that right now, you don’t care about being in harmony with nature; all you just want is to be in harmony with your bed. The solution is to do nothing and let the Stack and Pile system take over. The Stack and Pile system says after eight hours of work and an hour commute come home and pile your self onto the couch and watch Dr. Phil. When the kids get home from school, have them bring down their laundry and pile the clothes on the floor of the laundry room. When Dr. Phil is over, call the local pizza place, have them deliver dinner to your front door, and then have the kids stack the pizza box next to the trashcan outside. The Stack and Pile system, one — Feng Shui, zero. Feng Shui covers nine life situations, or in other words, there are nine areas of your house that mean different things. Once inside the front door, the back left room means prosperity. Feng Shui wants you to clean this area, paint it purple, red, or green and soon you will see the money pour in. Yeah, right. My Stack and Pile system has a much better way to prosperity Ð I call it the “Stack and Pile Dollar Bill game.” You say you never have enough money? You can’t possibly afford to go on vacation? Never in a million years could you and your wife go on a four-day cruise? Well then dear reader, the time-tested Stack and Pile Dollar Bill game is for you! No heavy lifting or long workouts necessary. The Dollar Bill game - brought to you by the same person who invented the Stack and Pile system - me. Buy your wife a new pair of shoes. Trust me; she’ll love you for it. Keep the shoebox and stack it in the bottom of your closet. Every day for the next year, don’t spend a dollar bill. Buy everything with $5, $10, $20, $50, or $100 and save all the ones you get back in change. Once you’re home, stack all the ones in the shoebox. By the end of a year, you won’t believe how much money has piled up. When you count all those ones, you can go on that trip that a year earlier you couldn’t even dream of affording. All thanks to the Stack and Pile Dollar Bill game. Drop me an e-mail when you get back from your vacation. The Stack and Pile system, two Ð 3,000-year-old Feng Shui, zero. One last thing about Feng Shui-ish — you can hang up crystals to divert the bad Chi, paint rooms red, purple, or green to get more money. But if you really want to change your life for the better, adopt the Stack and Pile storage system for your home. Trust me, with every nook and corner of your house stacked and piled to the ceiling with all your stuff, your better half will love you for it. And if she doesn’t, just show her that shoebox full of money. Late last night I made my way to the kitchen to make The Boy my famous vanilla and chocolate syrup milk shake but could not find my milk shake maker. It was 20 years old, rusted on the sides, took up half of the bottom cabinet under the sink, and when cut on made a noise as loud as some of the airplanes that fly over our house, but it still worked. Upon further investigation, The Wife said that my milkshake maker had Feng Shui-ed its way out the back door and to the dump. Final score: The Stack and Pile system, two - Feng Shui, one. [Rick Ryckeley is employed by the Fayette County Department of Fire and Emergency Services. He can be reached at saferick@bellsouth.net.] |