Friday, June 13, 2003

By DAVID EPPS
Pastor

I surrender. I yield. I admit my misdeeds. I repent. I have sinned by my own fault.

I have been convinced by overwhelming response, multiple arguments, and the fear for my life that pregnant women should have special parking privileges at supermarkets (See my column in the June 6 edition of The Citizen).

One reader said, "You try carrying your groceries eight months pregnant huffing and puffing with a toddler bouncing on your hip! I used to shop at Kroger specifically because they had those signs when I was 'at that stage in life.'"

Another responded, "After working all day, walking much of the time, it sure was nice to pull up to Kroger and get one of those close parking spots. It made me feel special. It takes a lot to make you feel special when you look like a walking beached whale. You no longer want your husband to look at you (even dressed) because of what your hormones have convinced you of what he is thinking (or certainly not thinking about anymore); none of your clothes fit; you have to use the restroom every hour on the hour; you belch, you sweat, and at each meal all of your food feels like it is going to re-present itself to you. Then on the way home from working all day you get to go to the grocery store exhausted and think of meals and food preparation for your husband and/or family. You pull into this 'reserved just for me' spot and for one tiny moment, you feel special 'expectant dads' aren't carrying another entire body inside their bodies. Yes, 'expectant mothers' are special. They do need to walk less to the door, and they do need reserved/special parking places and all stores should have at least two. Besides, how would any of us be here if it weren't for moms?"

A husband wrote, "I was in Viet Nam in the Army during the Tet offensive in 1968, but I have never witnessed the level bravery, leadership, and dedication to duty that my wife demonstrated during her deliveries. On the second delivery especially, Sue again was going all natural, and attempting this time to do it without even an episiotomy. The baby's head was 'crowning' and she was in transition when the fetal heart monitor suddenly stopped beeping, indicating that the babies heart had stopped. The doctor had to perform and immediate emergency episiotomy without any local anesthesia ... he had to make a two inch cut on her with a scissor-like instrument, so that the baby could be pulled to the point of allowing the doctor to cut the umbilical cord that had become entangled around her neck. Sue had not even been given an aspirin.

"The baby was fine. In fact, she graduated from high school last Saturday, with honors, and will be starting at the University of Georgia this fall. My wife has never spoken of the deliveries accept in glowing terms. A measly parking space to recognize the miracle, and the sacrifice, and the courage it takes to bring a new life into the world? Give me a break. Pregnancy is grossly unrecognized. There should be a neon sign at the parking space stating 'Do not park here! This space is in honor of the woman who is carrying a baby, and will be delivering soon!' The space isn't there because pregnant women are considered 'handicapped' (duh); they are there as a small token of recognition of something that is grand, miraculous, courageous, and worthy of recognition. A parking space for vets? I'll gladly give mine up for a pregnant woman!"

A priest from the "left coast" wrote, "Actually, I think it's pretty cool. Kind of like chivalry of old or something. Only in the old South. Here in the Pacific Northwest the storeowner would have been picketed by some angry group. Oregon leads the nation in every anti-life way. Hedonism is god here. This is the first time I have heard of such a thing for pregnant women. It's like giving God respect for the new life they carry that He created in them."

A new mom wrote, "After reading your article, I have come to the conclusion that when you wrote it, you had been awake for 60 hours (not just 30). Just going to the grocery store itself is a chore. Being out of breath just because you tried to fit in your car, then tried to emerge from your car is a real pain. It is frustrating to not be able to do the simple things you used to do pre-pregnancy.

"The parking spots aren't for lazy pregnant women. They are a necessity. They are designed to keep a woman from being too out of breath and able to shop without passing out once she reached the store. Or going into labor. Since you are obviously a man, you probably never had to carry an infant seat into a store soon after giving birth, by yourself. The man of the house works, while the mother, new or otherwise, does the shopping. If the man goes to the store it is without anyone accompanying him

"Babies are heavy, whether they are inside your body or out. It is not a handicap and should not be classified as such, or even put in the same category. But it is a burden. At some churches I have seen signs that read 'Reserved for Pastor.' At companies I've seen 'Reserved for President, CEO, Employee of the Month,' etc. If any of the people you mentioned in the article ever bring new life into this world, these miracles from God, then they too should get a special parking spot. That way they can walk down all those aisles in the store at a leisurely pace, and still not be out of breath.

"My complaint: There aren't enough of them. I have given birth to five beautiful healthy babies. While pregnant, I've had to carry a child into a grocery store. I did not get to park close to the front. Someone else was in the only two spots for 'New and Expectant Mothers.' By the time I reached the store, I forgot what I came to get. My arms hurt from carrying an almost two-year-old, who would not stay still, my legs burned from walking a long distance, plus swelled up like two balloons. I couldn't catch my breath, my face was beet red and I was sweating profusely. Oh, did I mention that pregnant women get fatigued very easily, as well? Then you get the curiously concerned asking if you are all right. Talk about embarrassing. And on top of it, you need to use the restroom, and hope you make it inside before you leak... If you have never experienced the miracle of bearing a child, then you should not form a negative opinion about the 'perks' a pregnant woman gets. Because, believe me, if we could trade places with a man, we'd do it in a heartbeat."

I admit my wrongdoing. The spaces for pregnant women are needed, I see that now. I promise to never park in one again ever! We may even install some at our church! Now, will someone please call off the snipers?

[David Epps is rector of Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church, which meets at 8 a.m. and 10 a.m. Sundays on Highway 34 between Peachtree City and Newnan. He may be contacted at FatherDavidEpps@aol.com or at www.CTKCEC.org.]

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