Friday,February 14, 2003
Friday,February 14, 2003 |
| Guy
tips for Valentine's Day
By Rick Ryckeley Well, guys, it's here. Another date on the wall calendar that you better not forget is once again glaring down at us. To some, living in a peaceful happy relationship is a lot of work and might be beyond their capability. I, on the other hand, have found it to be quite easy; all one needs to do is to remember but a few simple tips. That is, if you want to be one of the ones that live in a peaceful, happy relationship. Relationship tip number one: Guys, remember that no date is as important as today, Valentine's Day. Well, that is, until the next important date comes up you're not supposed to forget. Relationship tip number two: Time is a valuable resource which shouldn't be wasted. Do you really have the time to look for that all-important gift to make your lady feel special? No! Most of your time is occupied looking for important stuff like the TV remote, that last adult beverage in the refrigerator you hid from the Super Bowl party crowd and, of course, your car keys. You don't have the time to look for a Valentine's Day gift. Relax, that's what I'm here for. Relationship tip number three: There are many traps and hazards that one should avoid when shopping for that perfect gift, many pitfalls on the road to a happy relationship. How do you avoid all the traps, hazards, and pit falls if you don't see them coming? Read on, dear reader, and feel confident that by the end of this article, a mere 500 more words, you will be fully equipped to do battle for your loved one in the stores. Relationship tip number four: Be different, stay away from the traditional stuff like a dozen red roses. Why give flowers that last maybe a week to someone as a sign of your everlasting love? You have a love that's supposed to last forever, remember? Give her something that's gonna last forever no, not diamonds. Relationship tip number five: Diamonds are forever, it's true, but so are the payments when you finance them. She will not be happy if you're stressed out working two jobs just to pay for them. Besides, my experience is that no matter how big of a diamond you buy, it ain't big enough. Relationship tip number six: Whatever you do, don't give her candy! You want to give a gift that keeps on giving, but this is not the one. How can a two-pound box of candy make someone gain ten pounds? Relationship tip number seven: You too can bring home a great Valentine's Day gift for that someone special in your life. The gift you buy needs to be durable and last many years. It needs to be a gift that she can use all the time, and it's just waiting at a home improvement store near you a three-speed-diesel powered-bagless-hepafilter-vacuum cleaner with bonus mini vac attachments. Yes, you will be amazed at the reaction on her face when you walk through the door with this baby! I sure was. I guarantee she will be thinking about you every time she cleans the house. With its new clear polymer shell and large capacity hopper, she can easily see all of the junk you've left lying around from the Super Bowl party as it get sucked up by the five-horse power motor. You'd be surprised too how quickly she can find those lost car keys for ya. The Wife still talks about me when she uses her three-speed-diesel powered-bagless-hepafilter-vacuum cleaner with bonus mini vac attachments that I gave her for Valentines Day last year. I can't hear exactly what she is saying over the noise, but I just know it's something nice. Today is Feb. 14 and boy, do I have the gift suggestion for you! Yes, I'll pull your bacon out of the fire even if you do really go out and buy her the diesel vacuum cleaner by letting you in on the perfect gift to give your loved one. One size fits all, but it's always in short supply. Some people try to stretch it, others waste it, still others try to steel it, but everybody wants more of it, and no matter how much you give to her, she never seems to have enough. Give up? Well just read on. She doesn't really want a dozen red roses; she doesn't really want the two-pound box of candy; she doesn't really want the vacuum cleaner or diamonds. (Well, if you got her the diamonds, it wouldn't hurt anything.) Nope. There's only one thing your sweetie wants from you this Valentine's Day, and it won't cost you a dime. All she really wants is time with you. Time is indeed the best thing you can spend on someone you love. Go out to dinner tonight or go away for a long weekend without the kids. That's what we're doing. "I love you" is forever and timeless. People don't fall in love so they can spend time apart. [Rick Ryckeley is employed by the Fayette County Department of Fire and Emergency Services. He can be reached at firemanr@bellsouth.net.]
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