Friday, December 13 2002

By DAVID EPPS
Pastor

Just when you think that you've gotten where you've been going, you find that you still "have a-ways yet to go."

A few weeks ago, after over six years as a congregation, our church moved into its first new building. After all this time of prayer, of saving, of planning, of waiting, of work, of anticipation, and of longing, finally the day was upon us. We were packed out, with standing room only, for the very first service on a Sunday evening and pretty darn full the next week on our first Sunday morning. We were so excited! We had arrived!

Almost immediately, we found that we still had some things to do and some things to work through. For example, we need to have the lighting guy come back and reposition some of the spotlights. We discovered that we needed to have a way for the main inside doors to be propped open during our processional on Sundays and for brides on their wedding day. We don't have places yet to hang our winter coats. We probably will need to install a "door closer" mechanism on our sacristy door so that people will not have to see the music ministry and clergy getting vested (putting on their "church clothes" like robes and stuff).

We use incense in our church from time to time and a few people have allergies, so we may need to schedule an early service which will be "incense-free." And, if attendance continues to climb, we will need the second service anyway.

The biggest problem that we have is that, already, we need to think about expanding our parking lot. We have had, every service, more cars than we do spaces. Now that's actually a pretty good problem to have. Nevertheless, we still find ourselves "having arrived" but still having to make adjustments, corrections, and accommodations. We still "have a-ways yet to go."

I find that the same thing is occurring in my own life. I will be 52 years old on Jan. 15 (Martin Luther King, Jr., and I share the same birthdate), was baptized at the age of 15, and had a powerful personal encounter with God at age 19. I pastored my first church at the age of 23. I have several degrees and a truckload of continuing education hours. I would have thought that, by now, I would have fulfilled Jesus' command to "be perfect even as your Father in heaven is perfect." I thought that, by now, I would have "arrived" spiritually. Alas and alack, I find that I still "have a-ways yet to go."

I find that I still have old attitudes that refuse to die, old ways of thinking and behaving that manifest themselves at the worst of times, and old sins that crop up to remind me that I have not become "perfect." Or anywhere close to it. I find that I still confess my sins every day, not because it is my spiritual discipline, but because I still sin every day.

On the other hand, I no longer experience anger to the point of rage, I no longer experience that false humbleness that allowed people walk all over me, and I no longer go around with a sense of guilt and unworthiness. I have learned to relax in my relationship with God and have come to a place where I know that I am loved in spite of my sin and my unworthiness. I have discovered that I am not a perfect pastor and that I have the ability to make terrible mistakes.

I have also discovered that my people do not expect me to be perfect (which I am not) but they do expect me to love them (which I most assuredly do). All in all, I think that I am a better man than I was at 19 and a better pastor than I was at 23 (no one should pastor a church at 23!). But I certainly have not "arrived," I see that now. There is much left to be done in my life. Likewise, even though we absolutely love our new building and are giddy to the point of silliness, we realize that we have not "arrived." We are much, much farther along that we were, but we still "have a-ways yet to go." But, we will do whatever it takes to make our building and our grounds and our parking lot as perfect as we can make it. It may take time, effort, and sacrifice, but we are committed to meeting every challenge and excited about every new opportunity.

And the really good news is that, in my life and in the life of every believer, God will continue to adjust, correct, repair, replace, and renovate. He is committed, for the rest of our days, to making our lives examples of beauty, fruitfulness, and wholeness. "I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord. Plans for your welfare, and not for calamity, that you may have a future and a hope," so recorded the prophet Jeremiah. I can rest in that assurance and can relax in the great hope and promise that God will complete, in me and in all of those who have committed themselves to Him, the work that He has begun.

[Father David Epps is rector of Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church, which meets at 10 a.m. Sundays at 4881 E. Hwy. 34 between Peachtree City and Newnan. A Christmas Eve Communion Service is scheduled for Dec. 24 at 7 p.m., with the community invited. He may be contacted at 770-252-2428, at FatherDavidEpps@aol.com or at www.ctkcec.org.]

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