By DAVID EPPS
Pastor

I'm not certain when it really hit home.

Perhaps it was during one of the five Alcoholics Anonymous meetings I attended last fall. Or perhaps it was last January when Dr. Jay Giesler, a Pittsburgh Episcopal priest and specialist in addiction told me that, in his opinion, I was addicted. Or maybe it was last July when my doctor told me that I needed to lay off the stuff or I could experience health problems.

In any event, I finally quit. This weekend marks 15 full weeks of abstinence. It has now been over three months since I have had a diet soft drink.

I first starting drinking diet sodas way back in the summer of 1971 when I was a ministerial intern working at State Street United Methodist Church in Bristol, Va. By the way, did you know that there are two cities, side by side in different states, named Bristol?

Bristol, Va., and Bristol, Tenn., share a common thoroughfare, State Street, which separates the two cities in neighboring states. State Street is actually on the state line. And State Street Church is not anywhere near State Street. Go figure.

Anyway, I was trying to lose some weight and switched from Pepsi to Diet Pepsi. Later on, I would switch to Diet Coke as the staple drink and, because of me, Coca-Cola would dominate the market.

In 1991, I observed my 40th birthday. The church I served at the time held a surprise party on a Sunday evening and charged "admission." Each church member was to bring a can of Diet Coke to the party. I took away some 240 cans of Diet Coke and this didn't include the bottles that people brought. Within three months, I had consumed them all. To make matters worse, this doesn't include the diet sodas that I consumed at meals in restaurants or in people's homes.

I actually gained quite a reputation for putting away the Diet Coke that went well beyond the church family. For example, the servers at Shadows Restaurant in Peachtree City never asked me what I wanted to drink. They would simply bring a large cruet of diet soda to the table whenever I came in.

Once, at Longhorn's, my bishop arrived early for a lunch meeting with me. The server saw his clerical collar and brought him a pitcher of Diet Coke. He said, "Excuse me, but I didn't order this." She said, "Are you meeting Father Epps?" "Why, yes," said he. "Then don't worry, he'll drink it." And, of course, I did.

Before I went to Kenya and Uganda in 1998, I was warned, "Now you'll have to get along without Diet Coke. This is a Third World country and, even if you can find a soft drink, it will be hot." Ah, but an addict can always that to which he is addicted. There, in rural Africa, miles from anything resembling civilization, I found a small village store. And, yes, they had one single, solitary Diet Coke. And, yes, somehow, it was ice cold. A miracle, perhaps?

It's not a religious or moral thing, this giving up of Diet Coke. It's not even a health thing. I just decided that I have too many things in my life that are "strongholds," if you'll pardon the religious phraseology. And, while this little addiction was not likely to bring me to rack and ruin, it was still an addiction. And it was a good place to start.

So, I have learned to drink a cup of coffee in the morning, which requires four packs of "Equal" to sweeten the ghastly brew so that I can get my caffeine "kick start." And, when I can find it, I'll have a bottle of Snapple Diet Tea in the afternoon. I almost feel British, though I doubt that my English cousins would deign to drink cold tea from a bottle in the afternoon or, for that matter, at any time.

And I have learned to drink water. Lots of water. Gallons of water. Sometimes with a twist of lemon, although I prefer lime.

Am I tempted to relapse? Not yet. Although I did bring a Diet Pepsi to someone at our church the other day and I did fine until I opened it for her. The feel of the cold can in my hand, the sound of the "psssssffffttttt," as the top was popped, and the memory of the refreshing, bubbly, liquid on the back of my throat was almost too much. But, with divine help, I prevailed.

So, last July, my 31-year love affair with and addiction to diet soft drinks came, I hope, to an end. In the last few years, I was drinking eight to 15 cans of Diet Coke every single day (or, in times of desperation, Diet Pepsi, Diet Dr. Pepper, or even the gawdawful-tasting Tab when nothing else was available).

The benefits? Well, I feel pretty darn good about myself and I have hope that other, more troubling, defects in my character can be dealt with. And, there's plenty of free space in the fridge now. Oh, and money. I have lots more money in my pocket that I used to. My meals in restaurants cost less because water is free.

The downside? The few shares of stock that I have in Coca-Cola have taken a beating. For that, I apologize to my fellow stockholders.

[David Epps is rector of Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church in the Coweta/Fayette County area of south metro Atlanta. He may be contacted at FatherDavidEpps@aol.com or at www.ctkcec.org.]

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