By Rick Ryckeley
Fayette County Fire & Emergency Services

My dad was the king of old-time sayings, or colloquialisms; seems like he had a new one every week. He understood what he was talking about, but to us boys they didn't make much sense.

Take, for instance, the one he said every time there was a bright red sunset: "Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Red sky in the morn, sailor be warned." What the heck does that mean? Will someone please tell me? To this day I don't have a clue. Dad came up for a visit last week, and he's still not saying. He just looked at me, smiled and said, "Son, if ya don't know by now, shame on ya."

As far back as I can remember, Dad had an old man working for hiim called Mr. Sims. When I was nine, I asked my dad how old Mr. Sims was. He said, "As old as the hills." I went back and told my brothers that Dad just said Mr. Sims was as old as dirt!

Every day Mr. Sims worked in the hot sun and never took a break. Come Friday, Dad would pay him, and Mr. Sims would always say the same thing: "If the Lord be willing and the creek don't rise, I'll see y'all Monday." As he walked off, I thought, "He must really be worried about rain washing out that bridge over the creek down by his house."

Years later, I found out what Mr. Sims was really saying in Mr. Hood's high school history class, no less. The "lord be willing" Mr. Sims was talking about were the lords that came over from England back in the 1700s. The rest of the saying, " ... if the creek don't rise," had nothing to do with water after all. The "creek" Mr. Sims was referring to was the Creek Indians. "If the Creek Indians don't rise up, I'll see ya in the morning." See, Mr. Hood, I did learn something in your class after all; that B was well-deserved.

Thinking back, I learned a lot in high school, and I got good grades. Even in elementary school, I got good grades. Well, there was that one time in third grade I received a less-than-stellar grade on a math test. But, of course, it was one I didn't study for.

The night before, Mom asked us if we had any homework or tests coming up. It was the night the Green Hornet was on TV, and I wanted to see Bruce Lee, so I said no. The next day we had a math test, and I didn't do so well on it. My teacher sent a note home with me to give to my parents notifying them of the grade. Mom or Dad had to sign the note, and I had to return it to school the next day.

When I walked in the kitchen, Mom was busy cooking dinner, and I asked her where Dad was. She told me that he was very tired and not to bother him. She also told me that she was busy and I should go play with my brothers. So with that, I did what any thoughtful son would do. I didn't bother Dad, I stayed out of Mom's way and signed the note myself.

The next morning, I gave the note back to the teacher and thought myself to be rather smart 'til Blabber Mouth Betsy found out what I had done. No amount of begging or threats on my part could keep her from her mission. She just had to blab, and blab she did. She blabbed to the kids during lunch, she blabbed to the kids during recess, and if that wasn't enough, she blabbed to the bus driver on the way home. That was my undoing; the bus driver was my mom's best friend.

After my confession, I didn't understand what my dad meant when he said, "Well, young man, I guess the chicken have finally come home to roost." But I understood exactly what he meant when he told me to go in the backyard, by the swamp, and pick out a nice strong switch.

When my dad wanted to make the point that he was right, he would say, "I bet you a dollar to a donut." He said that a lot. Like most dads, he thought he was right most all of the time. I told The Wife that one, and she replied, "Here's a dollar; where's my donut? Guess she's still on that Boston ice cream and donut diet. (I just knew she would like that old saying.) Sometimes The Wife and I are like two peas in a pod don't know exactly what that means, but it sounds warm and comfy.

I'll leave you with this one parting thought one old-time saying about changing jobs: "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." After a few years of changing jobs, I now know why. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence 'cause that grass is usually planted over a septic tank. Guess I'm just a chip off the old block after all.

[Rick Ryckeley is employed by the Fayette County Department of Fire and Emergency Services. He can be reached at saferick@bellsouth.net.]

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