By DAVID EPPS
Pastor

My wife and I just returned from two weeks in Australia where, for the first few days, she presented research at an international symposium in Brisbane. Cindy, the bright one of the couple, has a Ph.D. in nursing and is an associate professor in the nursing department at the State University of West Georgia. So, off she went to share concepts of which I have little understanding. My role was to act as her escort, bodyguard, and credit card carrier.

Australia is a long way away from Atlanta, Georgia. I mean, it is a loooooong way off. The flight to Los Angeles took about 4 1/2 hours (not including a two-hour layover in Dallas) and, after a six-hour layover, we were in the air for an additional 14 hours.

Then, after landing in Sydney, and another layover, we took a 2 1/2-hour flight to Brisbane. From the time we left our house, it was about 39 hours before we walked into our room at the Brisbane Sheraton.

Once in Australia, we visited Brisbane, Cairns, and Sydney before heading home. Australia is a very easy country to fall in love with. In fact, I found a few things about the "land down under" that I liked much better than America. Included in that list are the following:

- The winter weather. In Australia, it is now the dead of winter. I hate winter. Winter is cold, dark, frosty, and miserable. Not, however, in Australia. During the time we were in Aussie land, the night temperatures were in the mid to high 40s and the day time temperature hovered between 68 and 74 degrees with a gentle breeze. I have spent the better part of the last two Januarys near Pittsburgh where, due to the cold, clouds, snow, and ice, I decided that hell is really cold, not hot. People in Australia were swimming in the ocean and surfing in their "dead of winter."

- The General Sales Tax. It's not that I like taxes. I just like the way the Aussies collect the taxes. The tax is included in the price. In the USA, if you buy an item, the store says, for example, "That will be $107.00." "Wait a minute, the price tag said $100!" "Yes sir, but with the tax, it comes to $107.00." That's not too big a shock with a soft drink, but if you buy a car or a house, the added tax can be a shocker! In Australia, if an item is marked $100, then that is the price you pay. No surprises. The tax is included in the listed price.

- No tipping. In Australia, people are surprised if you tip them and some seem uncomfortable about taking your money. Almost no one tips in Australia (except Americans). People just work for their wages and that is understood to be enough. What a novel concept. That means that a $100 meal costs only $100, not $122, including taxes and tip. By the way, we still tipped. Christians, we believe, should be generous, even when it is not expected.

- The attitude from service workers. In two weeks in Australia, we did not encounter one grouchy clerk, cabbie, airline ticket agent, tour guide, merchant, bag handler, or waiter/waitress. These folk fell all over themselves extending smiles, kindness, and help. Well, there was one exception. In one city, there was a woman behind the hotel desk who had a kind of snotty attitude. But she was French, not Australian.

- Rugby and Australian Rules Football. I thought that the people who played football for Alabama, UCLA, and the National Football League were tough. They don't know tough, compared to the Aussie footballers. These men play the roughest games I have ever seen, including professional hockey, all at a fast pace with few breaks and wearing NO helmets and very few pads. The only surprise to me was that no one died during the games that filled the airwaves in Australia. The Wallabies, the Australian National Football Team (who beat England while we were there) stayed at our hotel in Brisbane. They were nice, friendly, and willingly signed autographs-especially for kids. Our athletes could learn a lot from these guys.

Would I visit Australia again? You betcha!

We went to the Great Barrier Reef, a rain forest, held a Koala (which hugged Cindy and urinated and defecated on me), fed a kangaroo, went to a rare bird aviary (where an exotic parrot bit me), took two river tours, and generally had a great time! We were going to see the crocodiles, but after the Koala and parrot, we thought I better not risk it.

We were told that tourism is the number one industry in Australia. If everyone is treated as well as we were, the industry will only continue to grow. If only they could move the country a bit closer to Atlanta, it would be just perfect!

[The Reverend Canon David Epps is rector of Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal Church in Peachtree City. He may be contacted at FatherDavidEpps@aol.com or at www.ctkcec.org.]

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