Sunday, June 23, 2002

A never-ending debate

Do you ever wonder who you are -- how you got to be you? Did you choose to be you? Did you become you at the hands of fate? Were you born with everything necessary to make you who you are today? Did what has happened to you make you who you are?

I think it may have begun for me with scripture like "many are called but few are chosen." That of course is just one biblical reference that has prompted me to wonder and question so much over the years.

There are many great thinkers, and some not so great, who have asked questions like those I propose today. Authors through the centuries explore these same questions on the pages of fiction and non-fiction books alike. Poets have forever posed these supposedly unanswerable queries.

Are they unanswerable?

The audible debate, the one outside my own mind, began back in high school with a discussion of the effects of heredity and environment. It began then. It will never end. That I now know.

Among the latest influences that have set me thinking about unanswerable questions was a discussion with a young friend about homosexuality. This young friend, eleven years old, said she had watched a documentary that had been helpful to her. The film proposed that bisexuality is a choice while homosexuality is something you are born with.

I listened as she talked about the great number of gays and lesbians who have been interviewed and who claim they knew as a young child that they were attracted to the same sex, not the opposite sex.

I, too, have seen numerous documentaries with similar content to that which my young friend described. I was familiar with what she shared with me.

Over the years, I have had a number of friends and acquaintances who were open about their homosexuality.

Remember now, my conversationalist is eleven. I listened at length. She is young. She is impressionable. She is eager to learn and know. She asks hard questions. A wisdom far beyond her years assures her there are no easy answers.

I asked if she knew that homosexuality is condemned in the Bible. She said she has never read the Bible and never been to church.

There is no doubt in my mind that homosexuality is rebellion against the natural order of things. I told her so.

But we talked on because the question remains, does the individual choose homosexuality, or is there a genetic predisposition to it? If there is, is it because somebody else back in the gene pool chose it and passed his or her choices on down the line? If that is the case, then is there a point where an individual can choose not to give in to his or her genetic tendencies?

Yes, I'm talking sins of the fathers here, and about the potential for breaking the curse. God knows I have had enough sins of the fathers to contend with in my own family. I think I have the right to enter into such discussion as I propose today.

Then there is the environment.

There appears to be far more homosexuality these days than in my earlier years. Of course I am told that many ancient civilizations also boasted of a strong tendency toward homosexuality and bisexuality. In some instances I suspect that among generations past there were those individuals who had it all, were bored and sought higher highs and deeper thrills.

Today, it is clear that the traditional monogamous relationship I have always perceived to be "normal" holds little attraction. There are no lines of demarcation. Man takes on woman's role, the woman chooses to carry man's load. Feminism has demanded an equality that disturbs me.

Tell me, do some cultures become so free to explore all options that we no longer feel constrained to leave any door closed? Can unbridled freedom be a dangerous thing?

Is there forgiveness for those who choose lifestyles contrary to those set forth as "right" by nearly all the major religions? Is there forgiveness to be had when even the leaders of some of those religions have chosen sexual lifestyles contrary to that proposed as normal or godly in the sacred books on which they base their teachings?

Have we all become so godified that we feel free to take those sacred books and pick and choose at will what can apply to us and what cannot?

In all honesty, this column was not meant to be about homosexuality. I don't go there often. The last time I wrote about homosexuality I received letters from a number of people who said they would never read me again, that I was not the open-minded, compassionate, loving person they thought.

I know there is no limit to the love of God. There's just lots of things I wonder about.

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