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Wednesday, December 5, 2001 Longing for family, homeland December is the happiest month of the year because it is the birth of Jesus Christ. This is the time of year that I feel homesick for my brother and sisters in the Philippines. Of all the holidays during the year, Christmas is the only time that I cried, because it brings back fond memories of my family. We begin our Christmas celebration by attending midnight mass. After the mass, we go home and sing all the Christmas songs we can think of even though we do not know all the words (rhyming slang). People are humming the sounds of Christmas songs all-day and everyday until the end of Christmas, which is Jan. 6. Families, friends, and neighbors gather together and go caroling from house to house every night until the last day of Jesus birthday. We received cakes for our caroling; this goes on till early morning. In the morning my best friends and I continued the celebration by singing and dancing. All the mothers and grandmothers spend days preparing all kinds of dishes and deserts for families and friends that might visit on Christmas day. Everyone in the community rich and poor celebrates Christmas. People laughing, smiling, and singing everywhere. Everybody loves everybody. Gifts are not important. We do not value gifts as much as we value our families and friends. We treasure the gathering of all people. I truly missed this kind of Christmas celebration. Now I am married and have my own family. Our way of celebrating Christmas is quite different than the way I was used to. It makes me delighted to see my children happy. We still go to midnight mass, we sing Christmas songs, buy presents, give and receive gifts, but deep down in my heart I am very sad. The Christmas memories of my yesterdays are very much alive in my heart. The last Christmas I had with my family back home (Philippines) was in 1988. The laughing, singing, and crying brought back our childhood Christmas memories. Our children never understand why that there were so much tears involved during this celebration. We tried to explain and share our experiences and beautiful Christmas memories. Last week I received a letter from my sister. She wrote all about our past joyous Christmas we all spent together. It hurts deeply in my heart. If I only have my way of celebrating Christmas, I would love very much to be with my brother and sisters. Now Christmas is nearing; I began to feel homesick for my brother and sisters. Whenever I am driving alone in my van, I play the music over and over again at a high volume; it has all the Christmas songs that remind me of my yesterdays. While listening to these beautiful songs, my eyes are filled with tears. This is my way of releasing my loneliness for families, friends, and my birthplace. Yesterday's experience is so very special that I will never forget it as long as I live. I will always treasure this in a lifetime of memories in my heart.
Teresita T. Jones Fayetteville
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