Sunday, December 2, 2001
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Sunday, December 2, 2001 |
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When Christmas becomes a struggle By DR. DAVID L.
CHANCEY Chestnuts roasting, sleigh bells ringing, children smiling, choirs singing, tree lights gleaming with all the excitement of joy to the world, who could possibly be heavy-hearted this Christmas? Christmas is a great time, isn't it? For many people, Christmas is a merry occasion filled with delight and good cheer. For others, it's the most difficult season of the year. The "blues" hit at Christmas worse than any other time, especially for those who have lost loved ones since last Christmas. Those who have lost significant relationships are among the most vulnerable people to a holiday struggle, according to John Cain, director of counseling and testing at William Jewell College in Liberty, Missouri. Death, divorce, breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, or even having a child away who cannot make it home for Christmas can leave a person at risk. "This is a time of increased stress," Cain pointed out. "Yet there is the general expectation that the Christmas season should make people jolly, joyous and generous. Television with its glittering holiday specials and commercial pitches feeds the process of setting up unrealistic expectations." It's hard for your spirits to be "up on the housetop" when in reality you're down in the dumps. It's not fair to yourself to pretend everything is O. K. when it's not. Struggling with Christmas or battling the holiday blues doesn't make you a bad person. It must means that you're still hurting or working through a significant loss. Possibly you're still in grief. Life is not a Christmas card that pictures a scene of Christmas perfection. The early chapters of Matthew and Luke bear that out. Even though that first Christmas was a joyous experience because Jesus was born, the occasion was still a struggle for some. Think about Mary and Joseph working through her unexpected and out-of-marriage pregnancy. Then taking that trip to Bethlehem to pay taxes at that late stage of expecting a child had to bring stress. Being human, surely there had to be temporary strain on that relationship. Look at Zacharias, the priest, and his wife Elizabeth. Because of his unbelief that God could provide them a child even in her old age, he lost his ability to speak. How tough it must have been for a worship leader to lose his ability to speak and lead God's people in worship. Reflect on King Herod. Because of extreme paranoia, he shed innocent blood as he slaughtered every boy two years old and younger in and around Bethlehem. We often overlook the fact that people lost children when baby Jesus was born. We have to remind ourselves that baby Jesus was born into a cruel world, and in a cruel world, not everyone has a merry Christmas. Do you find yourself struggling this Christmas? How do you face the holidays realistically and with integrity? Here are some suggestions: Accept God's love and allow God to love you this Christmas. Remember, Immanuel (God with us) came to us at Christmastime. Open your life to God's comforting presence, and watch for reminders that He is with you. Stay busy and active, but don't overdo it. Say no when you need to. If you don't feel like going to that holiday party at the last moment, then don't. Do things for others. Finding ways to give yourself away is always good therapy. Christmas is a time for giving and sharing of ourselves. Look for ways to bring good cheer to others. Contribute to the needy. There are those in worse shape than we are, and they really do need your help if they are to have any Christmas at all. Talk about how you feel with someone you trust. Let your feelings out. Use those tear ducts when you need to. Talk about the loved one you lost and say their name often. Don't set unrealistic expectations and set yourself up for a big let-down. Take the season one day at a time. Do something for yourself that gives you a change of pace or change of scenery. Keep your focus on the spiritual. Remember, the reason for Christmas is that God sent His son to be the Savior of the World. In spite of how we feel, Christmas is about Jesus coming to our needy world. Thank God for Jesus. Dr. David L. Chancey is pastor of McDonough Road Baptist Church in Fayetteville. Visitors are welcome to join them this Sunday for Bible study at 9:45 a.m. and worship at 10:55 a.m.
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