Sunday, November 12, 2000

Get ready for a month of thanksgiving

By MARY JANE HOLT
Contributing Writer

It's here again. The month that can change your life forever. It's not a day, mind you, it's a month, 30 days of Thanksgiving.

It had to become a month for me because a day wasn't long enough. A four-day weekend didn't even begin to cut it. So, years ago, I decided I needed the month of November to compile a list of all my "thank yous."

I start my list early so it is complete by the official Thanksgiving Day. Actually, it is never complete because I keep adding to it every year. But, by Turkey Day, an attitude of gratitude has begun to rule.

It's good timing. Because the rush is already well underway. Everybody knows the month of Christmas (yes, it's a month, too!) is just around the corner, and not everybody is especially jolly about it anymore.

I need to be reminded how important it is to feel gratitude, to be thankful, and to express my thanks. I need to remember... to think of the living and the dead, and how they have influenced and blessed my life. I consider pets and other animal life. I focus on nature and even inanimate objects/things. If I'm thankful for it, I want it on my list.

If you decide to join me this year, beware. All is not as it seems when one stops to consider that for which one is thankful. If you dig deep and look close, things will be revealed to you as never before. And you'll be the better for it.

For instance, remember how you really fumed a few years back. To the point of abdominal pain for weeks. You were beside yourself when you got laid off from your job.

Three weeks later a friend of a casual acquaintance called. He heard you had some experience in a certain field. An initial interview led to another interview, and still another. All this while you searched the employment section of the want ads daily.

Your savings dwindled. Your wife announced she was pregnant. She comfortingly reminded you of Cobra, but now you were paying for all of your insurance out of pocket and the pocket was almost empty.

Get the picture? Now here you are today making three times the salary you were five years ago, enjoying your work tremendously, and going home everyday to the cutest little blond tyke that ever walked the earth. Of course, if you had stayed in the old job, held on to the status quo...

That's what I mean. When you start to think about that for which you should be thankful, it takes you back. Way back. Sometimes, you may be required to go farther back than you think you want to go. But please have the courage to go where your heart leads.

Oh, yeah, that's another thing. All this thinking and reminiscing is a job for the heart. If you use only your brain, you won't do it right. You must be willing to get to the heart of the matter. Only then will the real truth emerge, the truth about that for which you should be thankful.

So, you have experienced loss this year that defies description. Your mate and child or children were tragically killed. Or your home burned. Or your pet of 18 years died convulsing in your arms. How dare I compare the loss of a family to the loss of a pet? How dare I not...

Loss is loss. Pain takes its toll in a million and one ways over a lifetime. And I am asking you to take a whole month to dredge it up in order to bring to the surface that for which you are thankful. Oh, yeah, I sure am.

And the keener your pain, the more recent your loss, the greater your need to follow my suggestion. Just stay focused. You are entitled to your pain and your grief, but that is not to be the focus of this month's work. Think gratitude.

I know life can deal blows from which we often think we will never recover. Heartache can consume us which we are certain will never be diminished. And the sad truth is there are individuals who do not ever recover. Don't you wonder what a difference an attitude of gratitude might have made?

No matter how bad it is for you right now, please join me in this exercise. Start your list today. Encourage others to do the same. I will publish mine at the end of the month. Can you have yours ready by then? I'd love to see it if you'd like to share! My address is PO Box 246, Gay, GA 30218.


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