Sunday, October 1, 2000
Sunday, October 1, 2000 |
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Think it can't happen to you? By MARY JANE HOLT I don't read everything that finds its way to my desk, and I wasn't especially attracted to "Ending Elder Abuse - A Family Guide." It's paperback. Grey with black and white and navy colors on the cover. Dull, I thought. Wrong. I always take at least a moment to glance at a book someone thinks I ought to "review." Of course you and I know I don't review books. I just tell you about the good ones. So you've guessed by now that not only was I wrong about "Ending Elder Abuse" being boring, but here I am strongly recommending that you read it. The book actually held my undivided attention once I opened it. I did no scanning. Just reading. Hanging onto every word. Wishing they were not true. Knowing they were. The book begins with the story of co-author Diane Sandell's mom's death. Her mother died six weeks after she was beaten in a nursing home. Sandell and her writing partner, Lois Hudson, tells us how we can protect our loved ones, evaluate facilities, partner with the medical community, take care of ourselves and motivate legislators and government officials. You think the book does not apply to you? You're as wrong as I was at first glance. Not only do we owe immeasurable respect to the elders of our society who were once our care givers, but the fact is we are going to grow old as well. Councilman Joel Wachs, 2nd District, city of Los Angeles, called the book "an important statement about a national disgrace. It serves as a blueprint for evaluating elder care facilities." So, since it is an inevitable fact that we are all getting older, such evaluation should not rest only with those families who must seek out a nursing home as a final residence for a loved one. We all need to be more aware. More than 1.5 million Americans now live in nursing homes and that number is expected to double in the next 20 years. Get the picture? Seems scary, doesn't it? We prefer to picture Mom and Dad in the homes of our youth and watching enthusiastically from the sidelines of our lives. We can't bear to think of putting them in a nursing home. If the thought pains you, just imagine how they feel. But, it is the direction in which our society is moving. I do not like it. As much as I miss my mom and dad every day, I am so very thankful that neither of my parents lived long enough for me to have to confront the issue. It is being confronted daily, however. And my advice to any family seeking to place a loved one in a nursing home is: Read "Ending Elder Abuse," published by QED Press. If you have trouble finding the book, call 800-773-7782. So you think you are just one person and this subject doesn't really apply to you anyway? Read on. From "Ending Elder Abuse" page 170: "One Person Can: "'Adopt' a person in a long-term care facility. Discover a resident who has few or no visitors. Visit. Send cards. Bring a flower. Sit and hold a hand, even if there is little response. "Become a 'student.' Learn all you can about elder issues in your area. Start a clipping file for an advocacy group or legislators. Be sure to clip the news source (newspaper or magazine and date) for each item. "Volunteer at a local senior citizen's center, day care center, or long-term care facility. "Write letters: to the newspaper editor, to elected officials, to long-term care facility residents, for residents unable to write their own letters. Seek out residents whose family might live at a distance, in another town or state. Write for the resident, to keep the family aware of the resident's activities, general condition and care. This point of contact could be a real service to a concerned daughter or son in another state. And wouldn't it be great if you could encourage the family in the other state to visit an elder in one of their local facilities... "Help the activities director in a long-term care facility: Teach a craft. Play the piano for a sing-a-long. Join a clowning club. Join Hugs for Health, a volunteer organization started in California that teaches and shares the art of hugging... "There is an oft quoted prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr: 'Oh God, grant us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, courage to change what should be changed, and wisdom to distinguish one from the other.' "To which we add, 'But God, grant us the courage not to give up on what we think is right, even though we may think it is hopeless. "One person can make a difference! "Plus one, and one, and one. "And you'll never walk alone." copyright 2000, QED Press.
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