By DR. KNOX HERNDON
Pastor

Remember the TV commercial when E.F. Hutton speaks and everyone listens?

Do you ever listen to God?

As an extrovert, I came out of the womb talking. My teachers used to say to my parents, "Knox is such a good boy, but he comes into this class talking and leaves talking."

While I substitute teach as a bi-vocational pastor, I tell my students, "When I took, and later taught the Myers Briggs personality analysis, I scored the highest you can score in extraversion." We are all, according to Dr. Briggs, either an extravert or an introvert.

There is certainly no value judgement placed on whether you are or I am an extravert or an introvert, but it's just the way God made us.

We also learn that the extraverts (like me) process information by talking and engaging people. Introverts, on the other hand, obtain information and process it quietly and internally. We all might feel that we do both in life and that is true; however, we are still basically one or the other.

It comes out when we are threatened or are in a conflict situation. If we are an extravert, we will come out talking in these situations, and if an introvert, will shut down, get quiet and process the information. Again no value judgement is placed on either personalities; it's just the way God made us.

Now if you introduce marriage, or your job or the relationships we have with our children, or friends, on top of these personalities, it makes for an interesting exchange. We have always heard that "opposites attract," and that is true, but opposites also "attack." This keeps marriage counselors' and lawyers' calendars full.

Extraverts, if you come home one day all happy and you yell out, "Honey, I'm home," and your introvert wife is curled up reading a book, this is not a rejection of you, but possibly her needing "down processing time." This is not intended to be pop psychology, but every day I run into couples that are seemingly locked into these modes of operandi and don't realize that extraverts need to talk to process things and introverts need down time to process information.

Now if you add a good old family argument when it involves the clash of the "Titans" (you and your spouse) and one is an introvert and one an extravert, your chances for resolution are better because there is give and take. If you have two introverts arguing, the issues are very slow to resolve. On the other hand, if you have two extraverts arguing, it can become very volatile very quickly.

The secret is keeping the communication open, and being a "fat" person faithful, available and teachable. In the midst of all of this, we all need to stop and have a prayer where we just "LISTEN" to God and not talk. I, the extravert, have found that when I have silent prayers, God really speaks volumes. Silent prayers are powerful.

The Rev. Dr. Knox Herndon is the pastor of His House Community Church (SBC) and a substitute school teacher in the Fayette County School System, and a former Army chaplain. The church is currently meeting in the American Legion Log Cabin across from the fountain on the Square in Fayetteville, but will move to a new location near Senoia in September. Prayer line 770-719-2365; e-mail KHERN2365@aol.com.

Back to News Home Page | Back to the top of the page