A cartoon showed a little girl asking her mother, “Mommy, if the stork brings babies, if Santa Claus brings toys, if God gives us our daily bread, and the government sends us our social security, then why do we keep daddy around?”

Maybe it's to provide that strong, masculine image that is necessary for our kids to turn out all right. I'm glad to learn that fathers are not taken for granted anymore. In fact, fathers have been under the microscope in a big way for the past decade.

Fatherhood institutes, books and rallies continue to call men to get in touch with their significant fatherhood role and to give leadership to the home. Good fathers are affirmed and highly esteemed. Bad fathers (deadbeat dads) are looked down upon. Absentee fathers (four out of ten children don't live with their biological fathers) are rebuked.

Just a few years ago, the Kansas-based National Center for Fathering commissioned Gallup pollsters to survey almost 800 men and women about raising kids, relating to their fathers and juggling work and family. Most surveyed had a rosier view of their own lives than of fatherhood in general.

For instance, fewer than half agreed that most fathers know what's going on in their children's lives. Yet more than nine out of ten dads say they have a good handle on their own children's changing needs.

What is it kids really want from their dads? Some fathers have a poor answer to that question. When baseball player Pete Rose was caught up in the fracas surrounding his accusations of illegal gambling, a reporter following the developments interviewed his daughter.

She said she chose to live with her mother because Pete was a crummy father. “He is the worst father in all the world. I will never understand why he never had time for any of us. We didn't really expect anything from him; we just wanted him to like us. Even if I wanted to call my dad, I couldn't. He won't even give me his phone number. I have to call his agent and wait for him to return my call.”

When asked about her statement, Pete responded, “What's she mean I'm a `crummy father'? I'm a great father. Why, just last week, I bought her a brand new Mercedes.”

In contrast to that approach to fatherhood, Dale Murphy, the outstanding former outfielder of the Atlanta Braves, was once asked what contribution his dad made to his career. He replied, “The great thing my dad provided me was himself.”

In many cases, a father's love and concern for the kids are measured by interest shown, encouragement given, and simply being there. Giving time is more important than giving things.

In his book “Burden of A Secret,” Dr. Jimmy Allen reflects on the amount of time that pastoral ministry and speaking engagements took away from his family. He writes, “Once, when the boys were young, we had planned to enjoy a long weekend at the family's summer house on Lake Brownwood. As it often happened, I had a speaking engagement to fulfill, so I told Wanda to take the kids and go on to the lake ahead of me. I would come directly to the lake as soon as I was done.

“Wanda loaded five-month-old Scott, three-year-old Skip, and five-year-old Mike into our old station wagon and hit the road. Along the way, Wanda stopped to get something to eat at our usual place, a truck stop called Jake and Dorothy's. Wanda organized the troupe for their journey from the car to the cafÈ. She carried the baby. Mike carried the baby food. Skip dragged the diaper bag. As they entered the crowded restaurant, Skip complained at the top of his voice, “What this family needs is a DADDY!”

Allen continued in retrospect, that was true. His family needed more time and attention than they had received from him.

Along with time, Dad's also need to give a positive influence. Several years ago, after a great performance in the World Series, then-Dodger pitcher Orel Hershiser was asked by a Wall Street Journal reporter, “What is the secret for your success?”

Herschiser replied, “I give my credit to my personal submission to Jesus Christ. Everytime I assess my major league career, I ask myself these questions: 1) Am I still married? 2) Are my children happy and do they know I love their mother? When I'm finished with my baseball career, my most successful goal is not to make the hall of fame, but to see my family a success as a result of my influence in their lives.”

A careful man I want to be, A little fellow follows me;

I do not dare to go astray, for fear he'll go the very same way.

I cannot once escape his eyes, whatever he sees me do he tries.

Like ME he says he's going to be, that little chap who follows me.

I must remember as I go, through summer suns and winter snows,

I am building for the years to be that little chap who follows me.

Dr. David L. Chancey is pastor, McDonough Road Baptist Church.

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