Kathy Bruce of Fayetteville and her two children, Parker,9, and McLain, 7, are survivors.

For seven years, Kathy has tried to come to grips with the devastating loss of her husband Marty through suicide. Parker, who was two at the time of his father's death, misses having a dad. Kathy was still carrying McLain when her husband took his life. McLain grieves for a father she never knew.

Last month, Kathy and Parker spent six days in Washington, D.C. lobbying Congress to fund the National Suicide Prevention Strategy. They also participated in the SPAN (Suicide Prevention Advocacy Network) Awareness Event. Kathy is a dedicated volunteer for the prevention of suicide through education, treatment and governmental and private sector involvement.

Her devastating experience prompted her to take action and reach out to others who have become unwilling survivors. In her address at the SPAN candle light memorial service in Lafayette Park, she spoke of the questions that ran through her brain at the time of her husband's death and for days and years afterward in regard to her children.

“How will I tell that their father died by his own hand? When? How can I explain that their grandfather and aunt died the same way? How will I reach them that it does not need to happen to them? What can I do to end this horrifying family legacy? A big part of the answer, I hope, is here. All of us here tonight and all the others who are speaking out about suicide and demanding that we find ways to prevent it, are the examples I hold out to my children. They now both know how and why their father, grandfather and aunt died. We are the makers of lemonade, I tell them. We cannot change what happened in our family before, but we can learn and speak out and be proud of the lives of those whom we loved so dearly and not let their last act be the definition of who they were.”

Kathy is determined to make a difference. She has organized a local SPAN chapter in Fayette County, which meets monthly at Fayetteville's First United Methodist Church, and wants to see a collaborative effort on the part of mental health professionals and agencies to address suicide prevention.

Parker spoke simply and eloquently about his father in Washington, placing his focus on the illnesses which often lead to suicide.

“I was two years old when my dad died. One of the very few memories I have of my dad was when he was playing with me in my playroom. I was lying on the floor and I was climbing on him. I remember seeing tears running down his face. I didn't understand why. My mom told me that my dad had an illness called bipolar. She said that he went to the doctor and he took medicine to make him better. The medicine was not helping. He hurt so much he wanted the pain to end. He shot himself.

“Not long ago, when I was talking to my mom about my dad, I realized that my dad did the same thing to me that his dad did to him. My grandfather committed suicide when my dad was the age I am now. How could he do that to me when he knew how it is to grow up without a dad?

“He didn't know that what was wrong with him was an illness. My mom said that back then, when my dad was my age, people didn't know very much about depression and suicide and that they were ashamed. My little sister and I know that this an illness that runs in our family. We know that it is treatable. We want other people to know how to prevent suicide.”

Kathy said she decided to involve her children in the SPAN initiative because she knows that suicide is preventable. “Bipolar and unipolar illnesses are genetic. Rather than hide in shame, I have decided to be proactive. My children already know more about suicide and mental illness than many adults. We view these illnesses as treatable and no more shamefully than diabetes or cancer. SPAN's goal is to save lives.”

For information about SPAN, or to obtain an advocacy letter petitioning Congress to fund a national strategy for suicide prevention, contact Kathy at 770-719-9893 or survivor4@aol.com.

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