Sunday, May 21, 2000
"You know you're getting old when..."

By DR. DAVID CHANCEY
Religion Columnist

I'm feeling slightly older these days.

In the past year, I gained my third teenager and my second teenage driver. Oh, my aching auto insurance!

And now we're celebrating another first at our house – our first high school graduate. My oldest daughter, Rebecca, is a member of the class of 2000. How did those 18 years fly by so fast?

It seems like just yesterday we brought that tiny bundle of joy home from Northside Hospital. And now she's preparing to go to college this fall.

I realize that's the way life is supposed to be, but the sentimental in me wants to stop the clock and hold on to this moment before she's grown and gone. But time marches on, seasons change, and we turn the calendar pages faster than we used to.

We're not getting any younger. That's not all bad. In fact, the Bible refers to age as an honor. When Abraham died, the writer stated that Abraham died “in a good old age, an old man and full of years” (Gen. 25:8). Proverbs 16:31 reads, “The silver-haired head is a crown of glory if it is found in the way of righteousness.”

Check out Leviticus 19:32, Proverbs 3:1-2 and Proverbs 20:29.

Growing older does get interesting. My kids think I have a slight hearing loss and my lower back hurts more often. I can't move in the outfield like I use to. As one fellow put it,

“I can live with my arthritis,

My dentures fit me fine.

I can see through my bifocals,

But I sure do miss my mind.”

I ran across some interesting indicators that help us know when we are getting old. You know you're getting older when:

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

You and your teeth don't sleep together.

You try to straighten out the wrinkles in yours socks and discover you're not wearing any.

At the breakfast table, you hear snap, crackle, pop, and you're not eating cereal.

Your back goes out, but you stay home.

You wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

You say something to your kids that your mother used to say to you and you always hated it.

Your idea of weightlifting is standing up.

Your address book is filled with names that start with Dr.

You sit in a rocking chair and cannot get it going.

It takes twice as long to look half as good.

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

The little old ladies start helping you cross the street.

Your idea of a night out is sitting outside on the patio.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

You begin scanning the obituaries to find eligible women.

I don't know about all of that, but I think that a fruitful old age is the result of a lifetime of preparation. We need to learn to make the most of the time (Eph. 5:16) each and every day.

The Rev. Dr. David L. Chancey is pastor of McDonough Road Baptist Church in Fayetteville.


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