It's confession time.

Some folks go to a priest. Some seek out the altar at their church. Some take quiet walks in the woods. Others just stop still in their tracks and acknowledge their wrongdoings.

Me? My body usually forces me to face the music. It's the thorn in the flesh thing, I think, that Paul talked about. I hate to admit it, but I actually need some degree of weakness in order to keep me humble and obedient to my God.

Oh, I've talked to Him about it many times. During certain seasons of humility I become reasonably sure I can “behave” if He will just heal my body one more time. It gets better, and I grow stronger, and off I go again seeking to do my own will once more at 90 miles an hour.

And the merry-go-round keeps turning. It took unbelievable forces coming together in 1986 to force me to resign from the nursing profession. I didn't really want to do it. Oh, I wanted to write. Some day. But I did not want to leave my job, the people I worked with, or the patients I loved and worked for.

But I did it. I had to. I started writing a newspaper column that year and published a book called “From the Corners of my Heart” in 1987. By all the standards I learned about after I had published the book, it was a success.

Then, in 1988, two things happened that would tremendously influence my next decade. I started The Community Health Focus magazine, and my daddy died.

The pain I felt over his death was so great that I needed something to hide behind for a while. The Community Health Focus became that thing. Of course, I continued this column in several newspapers, but I dropped the notion of publishing inspirational books for awhile.

I kept telling myself God would always love me anyway, even if I did not return to the work I knew He had called me to do. And I believe that. I know God loves me no matter what.

However, it makes it a wee bit easier to love one's self when we know beyond a shadow of doubt that we are walking in His perfect will for our lives. So, guess what?

I'm publishing another book. It's called “What IS Love?” and we will debut it at The Great Gay Marketplace Festival across the street from the Cotton Pickin' Fair May 6 and 7, in Gay, Ga. I'll be in a booth under the pavilion signing the little book at intervals that weekend. Come see me if you can, and take a minute to tell me a bit about yourself.

That's what I miss most about nursing. In that profession I knew well the people I served. Better than they knew me, for sure. Wow, have the tables turned! Every week I write from the very depths of my soul to fill this small space and I haven't a clue about the personality or joys or heartaches of the one who reads what I write.

Now back to the fact that it's confession time. For months, strong forces and strange circumstances again have come together to guide me back into book publishing. The Community Health Focus is doing better than ever and I soon will be turning much of the behind the scenes work over to others.

Many of the books are already written. The next ones to be published following “What IS Love?” will be a trilogy called “Leaves of Faith,” “Leaves of Hope” and “Leaves of Love.” Then we hope to follow with a bit of humor. Our books will always support family values and encourage honest communication between you and your God, between you and those you love, and between you and yourself.

I won't ever pretend that I don't write with an ulterior motive. I do, and that motive is always to encourage better communication and help you believe God has more answers than you can ever imagine, if you'll just ask the right questions.

My confession? I've been asking wrong questions again. Going my own way. Doing my own thing. I've been scared to return to book publishing. Scared of the vulnerability. Scared of the unknown. Scared I can't measure up. I, I, I, and Me, Me, Me... Will we ever learn?

Visit with me at the fair in Gay May 6 and 7. Or write to me sometime at P.O. Box 246, Gay, Ga. and tell me a little about yourself.

Back to News Home Page | Back to the top of the page